5 ms·

Want to be happy? Here's my hot tip: Don't expect to always be happy. Accept that sometimes life can be really, really hard and seemingly unfair. I think being

Want to be happy? Here's my hot tip: Don't expect to always be happy. Accept that sometimes life can be really, really hard and seemingly unfair. I think being able to handle times where our own minds/emotions seemingly turn against us is one of the most valuable skills in finding more happiness in life. It's really hard work, but sometimes it's just ok to feel shitty. Observe this feeling, recognize that it's very normal on the spectrum of human emotion, and remind yourself that it's not permanent, even if it feels that way in the moment.

cortesoft 9y ago
Yeah, I am always a little frustrated by the modern American conception that 'happiness' is the end goal in life. "I just want to be happy" or "I just want my kid to be happy" is a common refrain. Why is happiness everything? If you just want to 'feel good', you could start a heroin habit; you will FEEL great. But is that a satisfying and full life? I know for me personally, I might have been happier 'in the moment' five years ago, when I lived alone and got to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I played a lot of video games, did fun projects whenever I wanted, and had a lot of spending money from a good job. I know for me, I am never 'happier' in the moment than I am when playing video games. Even though I can't do that as much anymore, I feel much more satisfied and content with my life now than I did then. Now, I am married with a kid, and my life is way harder, more stressful, and less focused on my own happiness. However, I am way more satisfied in my life, I feel more whole, and I feel a sense of purpose that I didn't have before. Of course, I would also say I am happy, but not in that same way I was when everything I did was what I wanted to do for me. Happiness is just one part of a full life.
- leggomylibro 9y ago
  >If you just want to 'feel good', you could start a heroin habit; you will FEEL great. But is that a satisfying and full life? I don't know, but I would facetiously guess that yes, it probably feels like it is. Until you stop being able to afford more heroin, at which point no, it absolutely would not. Kind of like driving fast; it isn't the speed that kills you, it's the sudden stop. Happiness and meaning probably look like different things to different people, though. Some people find fulfillment in offspring, sure. But I don't see how that's any different from anything else that works to assuage someone's existential malaise.

cortesoft 9y ago

Yeah, I am always a little frustrated by the modern American conception that 'happiness' is the end goal in life. "I just want to be happy" or "I just want my kid to be happy" is a common refrain. Why is happiness everything? If you just want to 'feel good', you could start a heroin habit; you will FEEL great. But is that a satisfying and full life? I know for me personally, I might have been happier 'in the moment' five years ago, when I lived alone and got to do whatever I wanted whenever I wanted. I played a lot of video games, did fun projects whenever I wanted, and had a lot of spending money from a good job. I know for me, I am never 'happier' in the moment than I am when playing video games. Even though I can't do that as much anymore, I feel much more satisfied and content with my life now than I did then. Now, I am married with a kid, and my life is way harder, more stressful, and less focused on my own happiness. However, I am way more satisfied in my life, I feel more whole, and I feel a sense of purpose that I didn't have before. Of course, I would also say I am happy, but not in that same way I was when everything I did was what I wanted to do for me. Happiness is just one part of a full life.

leggomylibro 9y ago
>If you just want to 'feel good', you could start a heroin habit; you will FEEL great. But is that a satisfying and full life? I don't know, but I would facetiously guess that yes, it probably feels like it is. Until you stop being able to afford more heroin, at which point no, it absolutely would not. Kind of like driving fast; it isn't the speed that kills you, it's the sudden stop. Happiness and meaning probably look like different things to different people, though. Some people find fulfillment in offspring, sure. But I don't see how that's any different from anything else that works to assuage someone's existential malaise.