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I was barely 19 when my oldest daughter was born. While her mom and I were never married, I made a decision early on that I was always going to be part of her l

I was barely 19 when my oldest daughter was born. While her mom and I were never married, I made a decision early on that I was always going to be part of her life and try and provide for her. That meant I had to stop playing baseball. It meant I had to work full-time and only go to college part-time. When her mom moved to the mid-west, I had to spend every extra dollar flying to visit her or flying her back to CA to visit me. She's almost 16 now and I couldn't be more proud of her. She's smart and we have a great relationship. My company has done well enough that I can fly to her or she can fly to me any time. My wife and her have a great relationship (they are almost like sisters) and my younger daughters adore her. Even though we never lived together all the time, I feel we have a better relationship than many fathers/daughters do. I couldn't imagine what it would be like if I hadn't made the effort. Good post.

mattew 16y ago
Congratulations. Although the items here on HN tend to end up on the work side, of the work/life balance equation, its nice to see an article like this and a comment like yours to help remind me and everyone here that there is a great deal of importance and focus required on the life side of things.
jdg 16y ago
Thanks for sharing this. I had just turned 19 (2 months) before my son was born. Never married, but made the choice to stick around and make sure I was there every other weekend (and more, if allowed). I didn't have the "normal" college life, because I was gone every other weekend. I've stayed in the midwest because of my son, rather than moving out to CA or NYC. For the first 6 years of his life, I never missed a weekend visit. For 3 of the 8 years he's been around, I drove 6 hours roundtrip every other weekend. The rest of the time it's just been a 4 hour roundtrip. And, I've yet to regret it. I've been shown more opportunity than I could have ever dreamed of. No idea if that's karma, but it wouldn't matter anyway because the time with him is time well spent.

mattew 16y ago

Congratulations. Although the items here on HN tend to end up on the work side, of the work/life balance equation, its nice to see an article like this and a comment like yours to help remind me and everyone here that there is a great deal of importance and focus required on the life side of things.

jdg 16y ago

Thanks for sharing this. I had just turned 19 (2 months) before my son was born. Never married, but made the choice to stick around and make sure I was there every other weekend (and more, if allowed). I didn't have the "normal" college life, because I was gone every other weekend. I've stayed in the midwest because of my son, rather than moving out to CA or NYC. For the first 6 years of his life, I never missed a weekend visit. For 3 of the 8 years he's been around, I drove 6 hours roundtrip every other weekend. The rest of the time it's just been a 4 hour roundtrip. And, I've yet to regret it. I've been shown more opportunity than I could have ever dreamed of. No idea if that's karma, but it wouldn't matter anyway because the time with him is time well spent.