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Where? I currently live in Taiwan. It costs me 3 months savings to buy a plane ticket to visit family. I can afford to do that once or twice a year. That doesn

Where? I currently live in Taiwan. It costs me 3 months savings to buy a plane ticket to visit family. I can afford to do that once or twice a year. That doesn't matter much though, because I only get 8 days of annual leave anyway. I'm a British citizen by descent (born in Switzerland to parents resident in France). My future children cannot be British. I cannot become Taiwanese without giving up my previous nationality. I would also have to do military service, and learn how to kill foreigners. There is a conflict of interest here, because I am a foreigner. I have a Masters of Engineering from Lancaster University, UK. I started Ph.D. at KAIST in Korea, but dropped out when they refused to pay my scholarship. I wanted to move to Canada for the Express Entry programme, but now they got too many applications from the US. They changed the rules, and now they require me to be a senior manager. I wanted to move to New Zealand for the Skilled Migrant Category visa. They asked for 2 years work experience. During my 2nd year here, they increased that to 3 years. Now they require 75,000 NZD per year salary (4x my current salary). I don't think any company will pay that. It is extremely difficult, and getting harder, to take a foreign spouse to the UK. The US "asked me to leave" (one step short of deportation) when my exchange student visa petition was denied, because I didn't have $25,000 cash in the bank. Thankfully the process was so slow that I finished a whole year at UCSB before they kicked me out. I can't go back any more though. I also don't think I can afford to get married, because it's just too expensive (300,000 NTD would take me one year to save up). The politics and finance problems means I don't think I can marry my Taiwanese girlfriend. I believe in chastity, so this probably means that I'll die a virgin. I've decided that rather than ending my own life, and having no voice, I can at least speak on behalf of those who struggle. The older generation are rich (owning cars and houses, having children). Most people I know who are my age are not able to afford such luxuries. Why should I pay for pensions to support these rich old people? Why should I pay for insurance to extend my life, when I'm not even satisfied with the situation I'm in? I expect that there will be a war soon. I refuse to fight in it, but I hope that here in Taiwan, I'll be on the front lines, and it'll be over for me soon.

azag0 9y ago
You are a European citizen, but you want to live in Taiwan, or NZ, Canada, or US. I don't blame you, but that seems to be the source of your struggles. I'm sure I might have problems getting into those countries as well. Any particular reason you don't want to live anywhere in EU?
- peterburkimsher 9y ago
  English is my first language. My dad worked at CERN, an EU research institute, for over 30 years before retiring last September. He bought a house in France, but his office was in Switzerland. We crossed the border every day - him to go to work, me to be born/go to school. It's a Geneva thing. He couldn't get French nationality because he wasn't working in France. Now the UK is leaving the EU, he is likely to lose the right to live in France. He finally paid off the mortgage on his house, but he's probably about to lose it all. He's also considering New Zealand, but immigration there becomes much more difficult after age 55. Trying to get PR in an EU country would take at least 5 years. The Express Entry and Skilled Migrant Category visas for PR in Canada and NZ are much faster (about 6 months of processing time if I have the prerequisites). Rent is also much cheaper in Taiwan (only 20% of my salary). Electronics are cheap, so that saves some personal expenses. When I did summer jobs in Switzerland and Austria before, I had less net income, after rent & food. At least here I'm breaking even. I just don't expect that I can ever find a place where I could earn enough to pay to learn to drive/marry/buy a house/etc.
  - dx034 9y ago
    > Now the UK is leaving the EU, he is likely to lose the right to live in France. This is very unlikely. While much about Brexit is unclear, it seems nearly certain that there will be provisions that British nationals can continue living in the EU and vice versa. No country involved wants to change the status for people who already emigrated. Discussions focus more around the exact rights (e.g. if the European Court of Justice remains responsible for EU citizens in the UK) and about movement of people after Brexit. And even if you only move to Europe in a few years, it's likely that you will get a visa much easier than with a non-European passport.
tdeck 9y ago
> I also don't think I can afford to get married, because it's just too expensive (300,000 NTD would take me one year to save up). Why does it cost so much to get married in Taiwan - is that the fee for a marriage license? Could you just fly to another country where it's cheaper and get married there?
- peterburkimsher 9y ago
  There's a blog about it. http://taiwanexplorer.blogspot.tw/2011/09/everything-about-taiwanese-wedding.html http://taiwanexplorer.blogspot.tw/2011/09/everything-about-t... It's not a legal fee, it's the price of the wedding and dowry. Besides, marriage doesn't even matter for immigration. "Partnership" means sharing the same bank account and address for 1 year. That means persuading her and her parents to let her move out of a comfortable rent-free family house, and into a small room with some foreign boy. I want to wait until marriage before I have sex, and sex is the first thing I'll do after I get married. If I marry her first, then I risk having children before I get the PR in a developed country. (I don't trust contraception, because I was a mistake when I was accidentally conceived.) So now I'm in a catch-22 situation - she won't move out until she gets married, but I can't bring her to another country unless we've been living together.
  - tdeck 9y ago
    Wow, that's interesting and indeed very expensive. Certainly there are people in the US who spend that much on a wedding too, although my philosophy is that the more expensive a wedding is, the more stress and misery for everyone involved. I know this is a site about hacker topics and it's not my place to question your life choices, but it seems like sex is pretty important to you. That being the case, wouldn't you want to find out if you and your partner are compatible in bed before getting married? You can always use multiple forms of contraception in tandem to all but eliminate the risk of an unplanned pregnancy.
    - peterburkimsher 9y ago
      It's not sex that I want, it's a family. Why have sex if I can't have kids? Why have kids if they have to kill me? Why have kids if I'm not allowed to live in the same country as them? No, I don't want to commit fornication in order find out whether we're "compatible in bed". That is partly due to the political problems, and partly due to my religious beliefs. My parents had a chance to kill me before I was born, and it would have been called "contraception". They didn't. I will choose to abstain from sex until I get this political mess sorted out though, so I can deny them the joy of grandchildren.
arkh 9y ago
I'll be blunt. It reads like you love your misery. You have an easy solution: get some work in the UK. If your girlfriend loves you she'll manage to follow you. If not I guess she's not really marriage material.
- peterburkimsher 9y ago
  "not really marriage material" should not be the decision of a government. She's not super rich, and she works in fashion design. That's not on a skill-shortage list. My salary isn't super high. I worked in the UK before, as an unpaid missionary. I quit because of serious cultural differences (I wasn't allowed to cook dinner for a female friend - not romantic - in my free time). I studied there in university, and was shocked at how racist people were towards immigrants. They didn't realise that I've always been an immigrant. Just because I look British should force me to live in that country. The British government won't ever let me upgrade my citizenship to let children born overseas become British, no matter how long I live there. That country rejected me, so I'm trying to find another place where I belong. Many people have problems moving to the UK, some of whom write about it here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/139807999382936/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/139807999382936/
  - arkh 9y ago
    I take it you are the kind of people who want others to pat you on the back while you complain but don't care about solutions. Why do you want to live and adhere to the customs of your current country? Do you really need to get married? If the UK is a problem what would be the problem with forfeiting your UK citizenship to acquire the one of you future wife? There is a moment when you have to commit to a choice and stop living "le cul entre deux chaises" (the ass between two chairs).
  - dx034 9y ago
    > I wasn't allowed to cook dinner for a female friend - not romantic - in my free time Who said that you aren't allowed to cook dinner for someone in the UK? Maybe your friend didn't want that but it's certainly not typical for the UK.
- 9y ago
laurieg 9y ago
This might sound strange, considering the opening article, but have you considered Japan? Despite what rumours online may say, getting a work visa is not hard. You only need to have a university and a company willing to employ you and then you're good to go. The salaries may not be as high as Silicon Valley or London, but it's very possible to have a good quality of life. The path to permanent residency is clear (if a little long). There's also no military service to speak of. The majority support pacifism, which seems to align with your values. If you understand Chinese writing then Japanese is not too bad to pick up.

azag0 9y ago

You are a European citizen, but you want to live in Taiwan, or NZ, Canada, or US. I don't blame you, but that seems to be the source of your struggles. I'm sure I might have problems getting into those countries as well. Any particular reason you don't want to live anywhere in EU?

peterburkimsher 9y ago
English is my first language. My dad worked at CERN, an EU research institute, for over 30 years before retiring last September. He bought a house in France, but his office was in Switzerland. We crossed the border every day - him to go to work, me to be born/go to school. It's a Geneva thing. He couldn't get French nationality because he wasn't working in France. Now the UK is leaving the EU, he is likely to lose the right to live in France. He finally paid off the mortgage on his house, but he's probably about to lose it all. He's also considering New Zealand, but immigration there becomes much more difficult after age 55. Trying to get PR in an EU country would take at least 5 years. The Express Entry and Skilled Migrant Category visas for PR in Canada and NZ are much faster (about 6 months of processing time if I have the prerequisites). Rent is also much cheaper in Taiwan (only 20% of my salary). Electronics are cheap, so that saves some personal expenses. When I did summer jobs in Switzerland and Austria before, I had less net income, after rent & food. At least here I'm breaking even. I just don't expect that I can ever find a place where I could earn enough to pay to learn to drive/marry/buy a house/etc.
- dx034 9y ago
  > Now the UK is leaving the EU, he is likely to lose the right to live in France. This is very unlikely. While much about Brexit is unclear, it seems nearly certain that there will be provisions that British nationals can continue living in the EU and vice versa. No country involved wants to change the status for people who already emigrated. Discussions focus more around the exact rights (e.g. if the European Court of Justice remains responsible for EU citizens in the UK) and about movement of people after Brexit. And even if you only move to Europe in a few years, it's likely that you will get a visa much easier than with a non-European passport.

tdeck 9y ago

> I also don't think I can afford to get married, because it's just too expensive (300,000 NTD would take me one year to save up). Why does it cost so much to get married in Taiwan - is that the fee for a marriage license? Could you just fly to another country where it's cheaper and get married there?

peterburkimsher 9y ago
There's a blog about it. http://taiwanexplorer.blogspot.tw/2011/09/everything-about-taiwanese-wedding.html http://taiwanexplorer.blogspot.tw/2011/09/everything-about-t... It's not a legal fee, it's the price of the wedding and dowry. Besides, marriage doesn't even matter for immigration. "Partnership" means sharing the same bank account and address for 1 year. That means persuading her and her parents to let her move out of a comfortable rent-free family house, and into a small room with some foreign boy. I want to wait until marriage before I have sex, and sex is the first thing I'll do after I get married. If I marry her first, then I risk having children before I get the PR in a developed country. (I don't trust contraception, because I was a mistake when I was accidentally conceived.) So now I'm in a catch-22 situation - she won't move out until she gets married, but I can't bring her to another country unless we've been living together.
- tdeck 9y ago
  Wow, that's interesting and indeed very expensive. Certainly there are people in the US who spend that much on a wedding too, although my philosophy is that the more expensive a wedding is, the more stress and misery for everyone involved. I know this is a site about hacker topics and it's not my place to question your life choices, but it seems like sex is pretty important to you. That being the case, wouldn't you want to find out if you and your partner are compatible in bed before getting married? You can always use multiple forms of contraception in tandem to all but eliminate the risk of an unplanned pregnancy.
  - peterburkimsher 9y ago
    It's not sex that I want, it's a family. Why have sex if I can't have kids? Why have kids if they have to kill me? Why have kids if I'm not allowed to live in the same country as them? No, I don't want to commit fornication in order find out whether we're "compatible in bed". That is partly due to the political problems, and partly due to my religious beliefs. My parents had a chance to kill me before I was born, and it would have been called "contraception". They didn't. I will choose to abstain from sex until I get this political mess sorted out though, so I can deny them the joy of grandchildren.

arkh 9y ago

I'll be blunt. It reads like you love your misery. You have an easy solution: get some work in the UK. If your girlfriend loves you she'll manage to follow you. If not I guess she's not really marriage material.

peterburkimsher 9y ago
"not really marriage material" should not be the decision of a government. She's not super rich, and she works in fashion design. That's not on a skill-shortage list. My salary isn't super high. I worked in the UK before, as an unpaid missionary. I quit because of serious cultural differences (I wasn't allowed to cook dinner for a female friend - not romantic - in my free time). I studied there in university, and was shocked at how racist people were towards immigrants. They didn't realise that I've always been an immigrant. Just because I look British should force me to live in that country. The British government won't ever let me upgrade my citizenship to let children born overseas become British, no matter how long I live there. That country rejected me, so I'm trying to find another place where I belong. Many people have problems moving to the UK, some of whom write about it here: https://www.facebook.com/groups/139807999382936/ https://www.facebook.com/groups/139807999382936/
- arkh 9y ago
  I take it you are the kind of people who want others to pat you on the back while you complain but don't care about solutions. Why do you want to live and adhere to the customs of your current country? Do you really need to get married? If the UK is a problem what would be the problem with forfeiting your UK citizenship to acquire the one of you future wife? There is a moment when you have to commit to a choice and stop living "le cul entre deux chaises" (the ass between two chairs).
- dx034 9y ago
  > I wasn't allowed to cook dinner for a female friend - not romantic - in my free time Who said that you aren't allowed to cook dinner for someone in the UK? Maybe your friend didn't want that but it's certainly not typical for the UK.
9y ago

laurieg 9y ago

This might sound strange, considering the opening article, but have you considered Japan? Despite what rumours online may say, getting a work visa is not hard. You only need to have a university and a company willing to employ you and then you're good to go. The salaries may not be as high as Silicon Valley or London, but it's very possible to have a good quality of life. The path to permanent residency is clear (if a little long). There's also no military service to speak of. The majority support pacifism, which seems to align with your values. If you understand Chinese writing then Japanese is not too bad to pick up.