Had something similar, but alone ... Weekdays: appear strong, I'm responsible for 30 people, nobody can see that I'm vulnerable. Weekends: massive bingie, par

Had something similar, but alone ... Weekdays: appear strong, I'm responsible for 30 people, nobody can see that I'm vulnerable. Weekends: massive bingie, parties, alcohol, coke, hookers... Last year in april after a 4 day weekend I almost died, had to call the ambulance on myself. My legs and arms started to feel numb, couldn't move them, was scary. Called the ambulance, they said that go to the street wait for them, and under no circumstances close my eyes. It was really hard to keep them open, but when I heard the sirens just snaped. Had this thought closing my eyes that I may never open them again. Turns out that I didn't drink enough water, and my blood got so dense that my heart couldn't circulate it. Wake up in the ambulance car still in my street feeling pretty well, bribed them so they say they haven't found me, because I had a big contract signing in 5 hours. Then I reached out for help, on therapy since. Before that I was thinking about it for long, but how should I choose, etc. Doesn't matter, just went with the first one I found sympathetic online. The second one is sport, get your self time to move 2-3 times a week, does wonders. I wish I could say I haven't touched any substances since, but currently I feel much better. So get therapy and start to move, that worked for me.