I can't say that I know your pain, but I can sort of feel your pain. Simply because I've been there done that. Taking advice from HN, no matter how well meaning

I can't say that I know your pain, but I can sort of feel your pain. Simply because I've been there done that. Taking advice from HN, no matter how well meaning, may or may not help, it may even frustrate you more. Best thing to do is to step back. Find a way to clear your head. A long hike worked for me. Even washing dishes. You may have your own thing that works for you. Do that. Talk it out with someone you trust or who is willing to listen. You can talk with your wife later when you have your bearing back. Heck if you are in bay area and need a sounding board, you can ping me. Keep in mind though, the best answer probably will eventually come only from yourself.