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> "Subsequently informed by the engineer that she was expected to 'sleep with everyone' because that's the culture here." I'm rather "unenlightened"/regressive
by MichaelGG 9y ago
> "Subsequently informed by the engineer that she was expected to 'sleep with everyone' because that's the culture here."
I'm rather "unenlightened"/regressive/whatever from a SV perspective. But... If there wasn't a significant power difference here, like an intern vs someone senior, how does this even happen? I mean, I get it if it was one-on-one, even a direct boss might pressure someone into that. But "sleep with everyone"? What's the expected response?
Or was this some poor excuse after a failed attempt? "Hey don't get upset. Everyone sleeps around on this team."
I'm just having a hard time comprehending this quote, not from an offended view, just a practical/social/etc. view.
- pjc50 9y agoIt's a common abuse tactic: establish the behaviour you want as "normal" and gaslight people who object. Often it works. It's also the sort of thing that people can very easily explain away as "joke", "hazing", etc.
- auserperson 9y agoThe engineer is probably lying and gaslighting, as they lied about having other colleagues there. It seems like a very toxic person trying to create a situation of abuse. It's sad but not unheard of. (there's awful people in the world).