9 ms·

If it's a friend there's probably some flexibility depending on the context of the friendship. But if the "friend" feels the need to file a complaint rather th

If it's a friend there's probably some flexibility depending on the context of the friendship. But if the "friend" feels the need to file a complaint rather than talk to the person about it then clearly the comment wasn't appropriate.

jaclaz 9y ago
... or it was simply misunderstood/taken the "wrong" way by someone particularly touchy. I can understand most of the listed complains, but both the "princess" reference and the one about the hairdressers sending supposedly racists code messages sound more like if some problems are also somehow with the people that complained.
- DanBC 9y ago
  > by someone particularly touchy. No. It's okay to say this to someone you know well and who you know won't mind. But the default position is "don't say this", and so the people who have a strong negative response to it are not "particularly touchy", they're normal.
  - asddqweqweqwe 9y ago
    No, people who get offended are "particularly touchy" because they lack the well-adjusted skills of an adult and act like children. No one is arguing at your right to be offended, what people hate is that not only can this person clearly not talk this out with someone - they need to go to a public shaming list. IMO it's a form of virtue signaling. I doubt this person is actually offended, but the local SJW group told them they need to be to be seen as progressive.
  - jaclaz 9y ago
    I agree on the "default position", though I cannot see anything so inappropriate to justify a HR call or a complain to the (official or unofficial) company list, at the very most a comment like that could have provoked some snappy response and an immediate - on the spot - clarification between the parties, at least between "normal" (adult) people. That would be a "normal" reaction as I see it, saying nothing then writing to the list a complain seems to me like the act of someone that either has experienced much more serious "name calling" (or some other untold offence) or that is a tad bit oversensitive. Most probably normality - like beauty - is in the eye of the beholder.

jaclaz 9y ago

... or it was simply misunderstood/taken the "wrong" way by someone particularly touchy. I can understand most of the listed complains, but both the "princess" reference and the one about the hairdressers sending supposedly racists code messages sound more like if some problems are also somehow with the people that complained.

DanBC 9y ago
> by someone particularly touchy. No. It's okay to say this to someone you know well and who you know won't mind. But the default position is "don't say this", and so the people who have a strong negative response to it are not "particularly touchy", they're normal.
- asddqweqweqwe 9y ago
  No, people who get offended are "particularly touchy" because they lack the well-adjusted skills of an adult and act like children. No one is arguing at your right to be offended, what people hate is that not only can this person clearly not talk this out with someone - they need to go to a public shaming list. IMO it's a form of virtue signaling. I doubt this person is actually offended, but the local SJW group told them they need to be to be seen as progressive.
- jaclaz 9y ago
  I agree on the "default position", though I cannot see anything so inappropriate to justify a HR call or a complain to the (official or unofficial) company list, at the very most a comment like that could have provoked some snappy response and an immediate - on the spot - clarification between the parties, at least between "normal" (adult) people. That would be a "normal" reaction as I see it, saying nothing then writing to the list a complain seems to me like the act of someone that either has experienced much more serious "name calling" (or some other untold offence) or that is a tad bit oversensitive. Most probably normality - like beauty - is in the eye of the beholder.