6 ms·

Can you explain specifically whats wrong with the comment. This could be making fun of a friend. How is this harassment?

camus2 9y ago
> Can you explain specifically whats wrong with the comment. Obviously casual sexism. Friend or not that's not professional to call a colleague that way at the workplace.
- pythonaut_16 9y ago
  If it's a friend there's probably some flexibility depending on the context of the friendship. But if the "friend" feels the need to file a complaint rather than talk to the person about it then clearly the comment wasn't appropriate.
  - jaclaz 9y ago
    ... or it was simply misunderstood/taken the "wrong" way by someone particularly touchy. I can understand most of the listed complains, but both the "princess" reference and the one about the hairdressers sending supposedly racists code messages sound more like if some problems are also somehow with the people that complained.
    - DanBC 9y ago
      > by someone particularly touchy. No. It's okay to say this to someone you know well and who you know won't mind. But the default position is "don't say this", and so the people who have a strong negative response to it are not "particularly touchy", they're normal.
      - asddqweqweqwe 9y ago
        No, people who get offended are "particularly touchy" because they lack the well-adjusted skills of an adult and act like children. No one is arguing at your right to be offended, what people hate is that not only can this person clearly not talk this out with someone - they need to go to a public shaming list. IMO it's a form of virtue signaling. I doubt this person is actually offended, but the local SJW group told them they need to be to be seen as progressive.
      - jaclaz 9y ago
        I agree on the "default position", though I cannot see anything so inappropriate to justify a HR call or a complain to the (official or unofficial) company list, at the very most a comment like that could have provoked some snappy response and an immediate - on the spot - clarification between the parties, at least between "normal" (adult) people. That would be a "normal" reaction as I see it, saying nothing then writing to the list a complain seems to me like the act of someone that either has experienced much more serious "name calling" (or some other untold offence) or that is a tad bit oversensitive. Most probably normality - like beauty - is in the eye of the beholder.
- asddqweqweqwe 9y ago
  > obviously casual sexism Do you walk around all day perpetually offended at everything, or are you just like this on tuesdays? Seriously, grow up. It was very likely someone who misunderstood their relationship (because thats important now) and was joking at getting a salad rather than a burger or something. SJWs are killing communication. The soviets did the same thing. A culture of criticism will destroy us.
  - Goronmon 9y ago
    Do you walk around all day perpetually offended at everything, or are you just like this on tuesdays? You have to see the irony in making this comment while whining about SJWs and comparing them to 'soviets'.
arethuza 9y ago
"Princess" in the UK at least would be pretty offensive in that context - I wouldn't dream of calling a colleague that.
- jk563 9y ago
  Depends on the colleague, I have done that and similar many times previously and had similar back. The comment is made, we laugh, he has his salad, I eat my burger, we moved on to something else. (UK)
- Chris2048 9y ago
  No it wouldn't. Try spending some time further up north.
  - arethuza 9y ago
    I'm in Scotland :-)
    - Chris2048 9y ago
      and find that offensive?!
      - arethuza 9y ago
        No - I wouldn't find that offensive (I've been called far far worse things in a work context) - but I'd be very worried about potentially causing offense, more for the sake of politeness than the HR impact.
tdb7893 9y ago
In a workplace you are talking to a colleague that you respect. In my experience "princess" is either used to refer to a child or someone who is spoiled and weak. It's really all about context, if I call my friend a "cunt" at home when he uses a blue shell in MarioKart no one is uncomfortable but if I used it in the workplace it's a huge problem and will make people really uncomfortable.
pavel_lishin 9y ago
Context matters, and we have none. It could either be an incredibly rude thing to say, or an inside joke between the two people.
- Frondo 9y ago
  And the fact that it's on that list suggests that the recipient didn't like it. Why call someone a name they don't like? Who gets anything out of that interaction?
scott_s 9y ago
"Making fun of" someone at work is harassment.

camus2 9y ago

> Can you explain specifically whats wrong with the comment. Obviously casual sexism. Friend or not that's not professional to call a colleague that way at the workplace.

pythonaut_16 9y ago
If it's a friend there's probably some flexibility depending on the context of the friendship. But if the "friend" feels the need to file a complaint rather than talk to the person about it then clearly the comment wasn't appropriate.
- jaclaz 9y ago
  ... or it was simply misunderstood/taken the "wrong" way by someone particularly touchy. I can understand most of the listed complains, but both the "princess" reference and the one about the hairdressers sending supposedly racists code messages sound more like if some problems are also somehow with the people that complained.
  - DanBC 9y ago
    > by someone particularly touchy. No. It's okay to say this to someone you know well and who you know won't mind. But the default position is "don't say this", and so the people who have a strong negative response to it are not "particularly touchy", they're normal.
    - asddqweqweqwe 9y ago
      No, people who get offended are "particularly touchy" because they lack the well-adjusted skills of an adult and act like children. No one is arguing at your right to be offended, what people hate is that not only can this person clearly not talk this out with someone - they need to go to a public shaming list. IMO it's a form of virtue signaling. I doubt this person is actually offended, but the local SJW group told them they need to be to be seen as progressive.
    - jaclaz 9y ago
      I agree on the "default position", though I cannot see anything so inappropriate to justify a HR call or a complain to the (official or unofficial) company list, at the very most a comment like that could have provoked some snappy response and an immediate - on the spot - clarification between the parties, at least between "normal" (adult) people. That would be a "normal" reaction as I see it, saying nothing then writing to the list a complain seems to me like the act of someone that either has experienced much more serious "name calling" (or some other untold offence) or that is a tad bit oversensitive. Most probably normality - like beauty - is in the eye of the beholder.
asddqweqweqwe 9y ago
> obviously casual sexism Do you walk around all day perpetually offended at everything, or are you just like this on tuesdays? Seriously, grow up. It was very likely someone who misunderstood their relationship (because thats important now) and was joking at getting a salad rather than a burger or something. SJWs are killing communication. The soviets did the same thing. A culture of criticism will destroy us.
- Goronmon 9y ago
  Do you walk around all day perpetually offended at everything, or are you just like this on tuesdays? You have to see the irony in making this comment while whining about SJWs and comparing them to 'soviets'.

arethuza 9y ago

"Princess" in the UK at least would be pretty offensive in that context - I wouldn't dream of calling a colleague that.

jk563 9y ago
Depends on the colleague, I have done that and similar many times previously and had similar back. The comment is made, we laugh, he has his salad, I eat my burger, we moved on to something else. (UK)
Chris2048 9y ago
No it wouldn't. Try spending some time further up north.
- arethuza 9y ago
  I'm in Scotland :-)
  - Chris2048 9y ago
    and find that offensive?!
    - arethuza 9y ago
      No - I wouldn't find that offensive (I've been called far far worse things in a work context) - but I'd be very worried about potentially causing offense, more for the sake of politeness than the HR impact.

tdb7893 9y ago

In a workplace you are talking to a colleague that you respect. In my experience "princess" is either used to refer to a child or someone who is spoiled and weak. It's really all about context, if I call my friend a "cunt" at home when he uses a blue shell in MarioKart no one is uncomfortable but if I used it in the workplace it's a huge problem and will make people really uncomfortable.

pavel_lishin 9y ago

Context matters, and we have none. It could either be an incredibly rude thing to say, or an inside joke between the two people.

Frondo 9y ago
And the fact that it's on that list suggests that the recipient didn't like it. Why call someone a name they don't like? Who gets anything out of that interaction?

scott_s 9y ago

"Making fun of" someone at work is harassment.