3 ms·

You're enthusiastically providing a case study of my original comment. The reason you rarely see personal gripes of black lung or factory layoffs or opioid over

You're enthusiastically providing a case study of my original comment. The reason you rarely see personal gripes of black lung or factory layoffs or opioid overdoses or IED injuries or the myriad of other ills plaguing humanity, is because you live in an upper class bubble.

dismantlethesun 9y ago
Well, considering that some of my close family and many of my friends are military or former military---I'd hardly say that I'm living in an upper-class bubble with no idea about the gripes that military folk can have. That said, I think I should clarify my comment was about online discussion. In real life, there's no shortage of people griping from all walks of life, but online (or perhaps, I should say on the tech circuit online) most of the articles, blogs, and comments don't seem, representative of men's' personal struggles, but rather complaints about women discussing their lives, or complaints that some sub-fraction of men whom they can't claim membership with is having issues.
- hkmurakami 9y ago
  I believe there is at least a partial influence from a culture of "men don't talk about their problems" that pervades the gender. Probably an unhealthy situation, but my understanding is that a man talking about his problems is seems as undesireable/unattractive/not-manly by both men and women. (This post is not meant to any claim of "which gender has it worse" or anything of that nature, as I find the whole "my suffering is worse than your suffering" line to be counterproductive)
  - slededit 9y ago
    Men can talk about their smaller problems with one very specific caveat: they have to be sharing their plan to resolve it. For example someone feeling "sad" would be a weird conversation to have if it weren't a deep depression. However "I'm building a shed to keep my mind off things" is an acceptable way to share your feelings. The other exception is if you've both experience the same upsetting event together. I've found that men are OK with talking about more serious feelings directly, for example if someone close to you died. This would largely depend on your friends though.

dismantlethesun 9y ago

Well, considering that some of my close family and many of my friends are military or former military---I'd hardly say that I'm living in an upper-class bubble with no idea about the gripes that military folk can have. That said, I think I should clarify my comment was about online discussion. In real life, there's no shortage of people griping from all walks of life, but online (or perhaps, I should say on the tech circuit online) most of the articles, blogs, and comments don't seem, representative of men's' personal struggles, but rather complaints about women discussing their lives, or complaints that some sub-fraction of men whom they can't claim membership with is having issues.

hkmurakami 9y ago
I believe there is at least a partial influence from a culture of "men don't talk about their problems" that pervades the gender. Probably an unhealthy situation, but my understanding is that a man talking about his problems is seems as undesireable/unattractive/not-manly by both men and women. (This post is not meant to any claim of "which gender has it worse" or anything of that nature, as I find the whole "my suffering is worse than your suffering" line to be counterproductive)
- slededit 9y ago
  Men can talk about their smaller problems with one very specific caveat: they have to be sharing their plan to resolve it. For example someone feeling "sad" would be a weird conversation to have if it weren't a deep depression. However "I'm building a shed to keep my mind off things" is an acceptable way to share your feelings. The other exception is if you've both experience the same upsetting event together. I've found that men are OK with talking about more serious feelings directly, for example if someone close to you died. This would largely depend on your friends though.