"When you do X, it makes me feel Y." I saw this phrase several times in this article and the linked article on "non-violent communication," but I don't think i

"When you do X, it makes me feel Y." I saw this phrase several times in this article and the linked article on "non-violent communication," but I don't think it's a particularly productive phrase. Consider the possibility that no one can "make you" feel anything, and that you are ultimately responsible for your own emotional state. For example, you can't command me to feel happy or sad. My emotional response is something I'm a party to, in combination with my own unresolved fears and insecurities. Instead, I suggest phrasing it in the present tense: "When you do X, I feel Y." That is observational and avoids any accusation or blame, so you can focus on the core issue at hand.