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When we refer to things, we use words that convey our perception of them. People identify themselves a certain way, and I can identify them a certain way too. T
by orblivion 9y ago
When we refer to things, we use words that convey our perception of them. People identify themselves a certain way, and I can identify them a certain way too. The notion of someone's gender has relevance to others. It doesn't make sense to go purely based on their own self perception.
For me, I tend to assign gender by sex. I don't want to disrespect myself by saying something I don't believe. On the other hand I don't want to disrespect others either. So for now my approach is to sidestep the issue and refer to all trans people with "they".
- Raphmedia 9y ago> When we refer to things, we use words that convey our perception of them. We are not talking about cross-dressers. We are talking about transgender individuals. You wouldn't even be able to notice them standing in front of you once their transition is complete.
- orblivion 9y agoThen they might lead me to believe something I wouldn't believe if I knew more. It's not just about what I can see. (I see your point about the word "perception", probably a bad choice of words) But sure, maybe I'd even internalize it and accept it if I knew it but they appeared very convincing, at least for everyday interaction purposes. I probably am more resistant to that than I otherwise would be given the social climate.
- Raphmedia 9y ago> I'd even internalize it and accept it if I knew it but they appeared very convincing, at least for everyday interaction purposes I don't understand that part. I think there are some concepts that are confusing you. All of the transgender individuals that I have known from before their transition pass as their new gender without any issues. The only way anybody would know if you told them. Story time: You know how men always like to boast and compare their masculinity while drinking? Well, one time we were out drinking with friends. A man from my high-school (who was a girl last I saw him) was with us. He is quite manly, has a beard and looks like what you would expect a fashionable young man in his mid twenties to look like. After a few beer one of the guys turns toward the man in question and, without having a clue that this is a transgender individual and tells him: "We know how it is with you lucky guys who hit the genetic lottery and are so manly. With a beard like that I bet all the girls must be throwing themselves at you. I must be half the man you are." ... My jaw dropped. It was a ridiculous situation to witness but it shows just how easy it is to be next to someone who has gone through a complete transition without having a clue. If you live in a city, I'm sure that you have called at least one or two transgender individuals by their new pronoun without being aware of it.
- orblivion 9y agoAmusing story. It wouldn't particularly bother me if they were that convincing and I ended up calling them by their new pronoun without realizing they were trans.
- CiPHPerCoder 9y ago> So for now my approach is to sidestep the issue and refer to all trans people with "they". I do the same, but also for cis people. It makes life simpler.
- creepydata 9y agoWe are talking about people here, not things. People have personal preferences and feelings whereas things do not.
- orblivion 9y agoI have feelings. What if I insisted on you referring to me as the queen of England? Preferred pronouns: Her Majesty, Her Majesty's. After all, royalty is but a social construct.
- adrienne 9y agoIn case you were wondering, this is super transphobic.