They should have done this: 1. User tries to SSH to rpi over LAN from their laptop. 2. rpi SSH server sends back a request for a torrent of the 1999 smash hit

They should have done this: 1. User tries to SSH to rpi over LAN from their laptop. 2. rpi SSH server sends back a request for a torrent of the 1999 smash hit "The Matrix" 3. laptop sends torrent "The Matrix" iso. 4. If the average latency dips below a threshold value, don't connect. 5. If it's done in five minutes, connect. 6. set rpi's SSH server to key-based authentication for strong keypair that was generated on user's laptop. 7. Done.