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I have definitely observed a similar phenomena of people looking to minimize social interactions, especially amongst kids growing up today. I can't tell whethe

I have definitely observed a similar phenomena of people looking to minimize social interactions, especially amongst kids growing up today. I can't tell whether this social anxiety is merely a phase in growing up or becoming wider spread, but I feel like the convenience of growing up in an environment where social interaction can be actively avoided (goto a restaurant with online ordering) may actually be a cycle that reinforces the preference not to interact with others. I've noticed that some folks are abhorrent to the idea that rules and policy can be bended or broken for various circumstances and it isn't until they get older that that they realize that bending the rules is an actual option that can be invoked by asking in-person outside of the standard system (usually an automated site). For example, an individual was having a small melt down as they needed an accommodation to show up to a minimum-wage job 30 minutes later than usual for medical appointments. What was actually a simple explanation of what is going on and shifting the hours appropriately took quite a bit of encouragement and anxiety to get over prior to making the request. I have another friend who will wait months to find the absolute best deal on a gadget, yet will pay more for day-to-day goods on Amazon, than the grocery store to simply minimizes interacting with folks at the grocery store and cites interacting with people the primary reason to avoid the store. Just 30-40+ years ago, by design, everyone had to interact with each other and became practiced at it, but now a days, it's possible to say nothing but "hi" "thanks" "bye" and get just about everything necessary done for you. While I think that productivity and expectations have come so far, I feel like we have lost a little bit of that human-to-human connection while engaging in the day-to-day mundane activities through an interface.

jpetso 9y ago
I don't like the idea that rules can be bent because it causes unfair advantages. And it's not sustainable or beneficial for the greater good if everyone does it. Dozens of cars stop at a red light, yet someone thinks they can cross because everybody else is stopping. Hundreds of companies take great pains to follow mandated regulation, but one CEO thinks those rules are nonsense and fucks up the marketplace for everyone in the industry, including themselves, only for a shot at personal wealth. Six roommates each agree to split chores, but one lazy bastard evades any sense of responsibility. Software project contributors all follow the same coding style and review process, except the one who really needs to get a patch in RIGHT NOW because it's so important for whatever reason. The thing is that if there are rules, they were made for a reason. In many cases, the underlying pattern has something to do with us being able to get along with each other instead of ending up at each others' throats, or having our economy implode, or losing innocent people to accidents or poverty. Common standards allow us to work together efficiently. When we can rely on each other, we can do more with less effort. That's just as important in traffic management as it is in hiring or relationships. When groups are small, it's easier to agree on rules and values. With larger groups, communities, states and whatnot, you'll have someone who doesn't mind wrecking it for everyone else just so they can get ahead. The solution is not to nod and say yeah, that's okay. It's not okay to cross red lights. It's not okay to kill people and take their money. It's not okay to steal someone else's confidential property and use it to destroy your competitor in the marketplace. We shouldn't accept any of these just because they're "the human condition". We should police our standards and improve on those failings so we can maintain a workable system. Some rules are not great. That's a fact, and that need to be improved. But the sustainable solution is not to bend the rule. It's to change the rules so they work well in more cases, for more people, with better overall outcomes. And then everyone follows the new rules. Fuck everyone who thinks they're above the rest of us and use others' "weakness" of caring about the common benefit to reap rewards just for themselves, without making the system sustainably better for all parties involved. I'd rather have a highway like the ones in Germany than the chaos that you see on a wide street in India. Both systems work, but one works better than the other because people agree that by not bending the rules to your own personal advantage, I can get a better outcome for everyone including myself. And to get back to your actual, much tamer example of bending the rules - in many cases the outcome is alright, but the principle still stands. I shouldn't have to call my bank to get a better interest rate. I shouldn't have to be personable and accommodating just so I can ask for something obvious like getting half an hour off for a doctor's appointment. Things like that should be available to everyone, regardless of their social aptitude. So let's make sure we have rules in place to make that the "rule", not the exception.
- itchyouch 9y ago
  The context of rules I was referring to was in light of social interactions. Obviously, rules are a generally good construct, however occasional exceptions are usually reasonable. The examples provided were in light of the interactions. I have tons of these things. Usually it is that there is some sort of policy in place. Crackerbarrel would not bring out biscuits/bread prior to the meal unless requested by the customer. Customer had to "ask" for the bread prior to the meal. Asking to shift a work shift 15-30 minutes to take care of another appointment. Crossing a red-light at 1am because there is a bug in the scheduler and one has been sitting at an intersection for 10 minutes without another car in sight for miles. Olive Garden has a salad/breakstick rule where the customer needs to request additional salad & breadsticks for it being "unlimited" There's plenty of examples where it is perfectly reasonable to bend the rules.
- parasubvert 9y ago
  I think a large percentage of the world's population have the opposite stance: rules are fictions that exist as guides but social interaction is the fundamental way in which we coexist. Traffic patterns in India are a great example of this in action, driving itself is almost a social act of continuous signalling. I personally cannot stand obsolete rules and use social interactions whenever I can to bend or break them. Amusingly they call this being a "change agent" in busines schools...

jpetso 9y ago

I don't like the idea that rules can be bent because it causes unfair advantages. And it's not sustainable or beneficial for the greater good if everyone does it. Dozens of cars stop at a red light, yet someone thinks they can cross because everybody else is stopping. Hundreds of companies take great pains to follow mandated regulation, but one CEO thinks those rules are nonsense and fucks up the marketplace for everyone in the industry, including themselves, only for a shot at personal wealth. Six roommates each agree to split chores, but one lazy bastard evades any sense of responsibility. Software project contributors all follow the same coding style and review process, except the one who really needs to get a patch in RIGHT NOW because it's so important for whatever reason. The thing is that if there are rules, they were made for a reason. In many cases, the underlying pattern has something to do with us being able to get along with each other instead of ending up at each others' throats, or having our economy implode, or losing innocent people to accidents or poverty. Common standards allow us to work together efficiently. When we can rely on each other, we can do more with less effort. That's just as important in traffic management as it is in hiring or relationships. When groups are small, it's easier to agree on rules and values. With larger groups, communities, states and whatnot, you'll have someone who doesn't mind wrecking it for everyone else just so they can get ahead. The solution is not to nod and say yeah, that's okay. It's not okay to cross red lights. It's not okay to kill people and take their money. It's not okay to steal someone else's confidential property and use it to destroy your competitor in the marketplace. We shouldn't accept any of these just because they're "the human condition". We should police our standards and improve on those failings so we can maintain a workable system. Some rules are not great. That's a fact, and that need to be improved. But the sustainable solution is not to bend the rule. It's to change the rules so they work well in more cases, for more people, with better overall outcomes. And then everyone follows the new rules. Fuck everyone who thinks they're above the rest of us and use others' "weakness" of caring about the common benefit to reap rewards just for themselves, without making the system sustainably better for all parties involved. I'd rather have a highway like the ones in Germany than the chaos that you see on a wide street in India. Both systems work, but one works better than the other because people agree that by not bending the rules to your own personal advantage, I can get a better outcome for everyone including myself. And to get back to your actual, much tamer example of bending the rules - in many cases the outcome is alright, but the principle still stands. I shouldn't have to call my bank to get a better interest rate. I shouldn't have to be personable and accommodating just so I can ask for something obvious like getting half an hour off for a doctor's appointment. Things like that should be available to everyone, regardless of their social aptitude. So let's make sure we have rules in place to make that the "rule", not the exception.

itchyouch 9y ago
The context of rules I was referring to was in light of social interactions. Obviously, rules are a generally good construct, however occasional exceptions are usually reasonable. The examples provided were in light of the interactions. I have tons of these things. Usually it is that there is some sort of policy in place. Crackerbarrel would not bring out biscuits/bread prior to the meal unless requested by the customer. Customer had to "ask" for the bread prior to the meal. Asking to shift a work shift 15-30 minutes to take care of another appointment. Crossing a red-light at 1am because there is a bug in the scheduler and one has been sitting at an intersection for 10 minutes without another car in sight for miles. Olive Garden has a salad/breakstick rule where the customer needs to request additional salad & breadsticks for it being "unlimited" There's plenty of examples where it is perfectly reasonable to bend the rules.
parasubvert 9y ago
I think a large percentage of the world's population have the opposite stance: rules are fictions that exist as guides but social interaction is the fundamental way in which we coexist. Traffic patterns in India are a great example of this in action, driving itself is almost a social act of continuous signalling. I personally cannot stand obsolete rules and use social interactions whenever I can to bend or break them. Amusingly they call this being a "change agent" in busines schools...