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I hold no position on this subject, but.... The benefits of a two-parent home life for growing children are well understood. If two people with children are no

I hold no position on this subject, but.... The benefits of a two-parent home life for growing children are well understood. If two people with children are no longer in love -- which is probably the rule instead of the exception -- does that mean the two parents must be and remain miserable solely for the sake of their children, if being in an open relationship changes the nature of their relationship and the level of happiness of their lives, and allows them some reprieve from the misery? Why or why not?

axaxs 9y ago
I am more conservative than most, especially in the tech community, but I do keep an open mind and try to respect others opinions...hope you could do the same. I first believe you shouldn't vow your life to someone if you have no intention on doing so. Sickness and in health...being depressed or miserable could be seen as a sickness. Relationships are hard, really hard. It's human nature to fall into habits and get bored. Relationships, and marriage, are work and should always be seen as such. It would be nice if we could always have the first month high, but it fades, and after a time becomes work. But marriage is after this typically, and should be seen as a commitment to keep each other happy and keep trying. You, at some point at least, cared so much for this person you pledged your life to them. Stop being complacent and rekindle that. I also understand people change. Whether it's age, wisdom, hormones, etc, it happens. And in some cases more people may develop disorders that lead to an abusive relationship, sadly. While I think people should always try their hardest, divorce is always an option. It's sad, but it is what it is. Too many people I think just internalize their feelings which causes resentment. I'm guilty of that, and make a conscious effort not to be anymore. In a relationship you need to be effectively...a whiny baby. If something bothers you, cry about it... figuratively. Solve it. But this is our nature and it leads to strangers in our homes that we knew 10 years prior. Open marriage is having a roommate and a f* buddy. It's not a marriage. Sorry for the long rant, but I find open marriages distasteful and disrespectful to both the members and the institution of marriage. I'll step off my soap box now.
antisthenes 9y ago
> does that mean the two parents must be and remain miserable solely for the sake of their children Is there really nothing on the spectrum between madly in love and miserable? Even if so, the answer is yes. Remain miserable until the children turn into adults, because that is the responsibility you signed up for when you had children under a marriage contract. Otherwise you're just a shitty parent. You can't have it both ways. > being in an open relationship changes the nature of their relationship Being in an open relationship is almost always a ticket for the woman to be unfaithful and shirk away from holding up her part of the contract. Why do you think that is?

axaxs 9y ago

I am more conservative than most, especially in the tech community, but I do keep an open mind and try to respect others opinions...hope you could do the same. I first believe you shouldn't vow your life to someone if you have no intention on doing so. Sickness and in health...being depressed or miserable could be seen as a sickness. Relationships are hard, really hard. It's human nature to fall into habits and get bored. Relationships, and marriage, are work and should always be seen as such. It would be nice if we could always have the first month high, but it fades, and after a time becomes work. But marriage is after this typically, and should be seen as a commitment to keep each other happy and keep trying. You, at some point at least, cared so much for this person you pledged your life to them. Stop being complacent and rekindle that. I also understand people change. Whether it's age, wisdom, hormones, etc, it happens. And in some cases more people may develop disorders that lead to an abusive relationship, sadly. While I think people should always try their hardest, divorce is always an option. It's sad, but it is what it is. Too many people I think just internalize their feelings which causes resentment. I'm guilty of that, and make a conscious effort not to be anymore. In a relationship you need to be effectively...a whiny baby. If something bothers you, cry about it... figuratively. Solve it. But this is our nature and it leads to strangers in our homes that we knew 10 years prior. Open marriage is having a roommate and a f* buddy. It's not a marriage. Sorry for the long rant, but I find open marriages distasteful and disrespectful to both the members and the institution of marriage. I'll step off my soap box now.

antisthenes 9y ago

> does that mean the two parents must be and remain miserable solely for the sake of their children Is there really nothing on the spectrum between madly in love and miserable? Even if so, the answer is yes. Remain miserable until the children turn into adults, because that is the responsibility you signed up for when you had children under a marriage contract. Otherwise you're just a shitty parent. You can't have it both ways. > being in an open relationship changes the nature of their relationship Being in an open relationship is almost always a ticket for the woman to be unfaithful and shirk away from holding up her part of the contract. Why do you think that is?