4 ms·

I experience the opposite. I have the Irish name 'Cathal' which isn't very well known outside of Ireland. I've spent the past year in the US and every time I'm

I experience the opposite. I have the Irish name 'Cathal' which isn't very well known outside of Ireland. I've spent the past year in the US and every time I'm introducing myself to someone I hesitate and mentally prepare for the 'wait what?' after I tell them my name. It's common here for restaurants and cafes to ask for your name when ordering, and often I'll make up a more common name for myself to avoid the hassle spelling out and explaining 'Cathal' to the cashier. Having a unique name does however create an interesting talking point when talking to a new person, and it seamlessly opens up a discussion about my background and origins after introducing myself.

amyjess 9y ago
I grew up with an extremely rare last name. According to forebears.io, only 156 people in the world have my original last name. It's an obscure variant of a surname that's only slightly more common (forebears.io tells me that just over 19k people have it, which is still pretty low), and both are variant forms of an ethnic slur. To say it affected me negatively is an understatement. Nobody could spell it right, and nobody could pronounce it right. It made me feel like a freak because I was the only person I knew who had to spell their last name when giving it to people. And they still got it wrong. I've had my name misspelled on important documents, such as my lease and my electric bill. I hated the last name I was born with with the fury of a thousand exploding suns. Before I accepted that I was both trans and aromantic, I used to fantasize about getting married to a woman with a common last name like "Smith", taking my wife's last name, and giving the finger to anyone who tells me that a man shouldn't take his wife's name. Of course, I eventually came to accept the fact that a) I'd be much happier as a woman and really don't want to be a man and b) the idea of getting married or even being in any kind of romantic relationship actively disgusts me, so that fantasy went away and was replaced by a newer, more plausible fantasy, one that I eventually fulfilled: transitioning to female and legally changing my entire name. One of the hardest parts of my transition was choosing a new last name. My first name came easy, and while it took me a while to settle on a middle name, I was solely concerned with aesthetics for that one. But my new last name had to be perfect. It needed to have no variant spellings or variant pronunciations, it needed to be monosyllabic, it couldn't give away my ethnicity (I was sensitive about my old surname being a slur), it needed to be common, and I needed to like the sound of my initials (my initials were the only thing I ever liked about my deadname). It took me ages to find one. I even considered Korean surnames (particularly "Park"), because Korean was a language isolate (cognates are the biggest sources of variant spellings, and language isolates have no cognates), all Korean surnames are monosyllabic, and I liked that it would totally mislead people as to my ethnicity, but I eventually rejected them. Eventually, I relaxed my definition of "common": instead of requiring it be common as a last name, I'd also accept names of common household objects. And then I stumbled on the perfect surname, which also happened to be the literal English translation of my mother's maiden name, so I still had some kind of family connection without being obviously ethnic. While it's not super common as a last name (only 24k people according to forebears.io), it has an advantage in that it's one of the most common household objects you can think of: Book. If someone does mishear my name (and I have had people mishear it as "Brook", "Brooks", or "Buck"), all I have to say is "it's like the thing you read". You have no idea how happy I am now that I'm not saddled with that awful last name I was born with. All those awful feelings went away as soon as I walked out of the courtroom with the signed court order for my name change. I'm actually proud of my last name now. My name is Amy Jessica Book, and I love my name, which was something I was never able to say before mid-2014. Oh, and while I'm on the subject of my first and middle names: my old and new first names were roughly as common for my birth year in the US (two places apart) and both in the top 20, and my new middle name is much more common than my old one ("Jessica" is the 2nd most common girls' name for my birth year, and my old middle name didn't even crack the top 200 boys' names). Funny thing is that my old middle name is technically gender-neutral, but I've only ever even heard of one woman with that name, and she's a famous actress. It's also more common as a last name than as a first name, thanks to a certain astronaut. I like having common first and middle names. I don't want to stand out, and I like the anonymity that having very common first and middle names give me. I have to admit that I did consider "Sunset" as my middle name, because I liked the dichotomy of having a really common first name and an ultra-rare middle name, but I'm glad I made the choice I did (if only because AJB looks much nicer than ASB; I can even write the former as a ligature). "Amy Book" is even ungooglable, since googling it returns a ton of results for "Amy's book".
- maxerickson 9y ago
  I frequently end up spelling "Erickson". Just because all three of "c", "ck" and "k" are in common use. I think there are some "sen" variants too.
- cjslep 9y ago
  I too have a very rare last name. It doesn't even register in forebears.io (just using the simple search bar). Having to explain it's "sleep without one 'e'" and instruct people how to pronounce it every time is something that got annoying, but am used to it now. On the flip side, it's very easy to pick out relatives in a sea of names.
  - frgtpsswrdlame 9y ago
    I've got a last name with about 900 people on forebears, the problem with mine though is that there are three groups(maybe families? I'm not sure) who all pronounce it differently(I happen to be in the least common basket). Correcting people on the pronounciation has been heavily ingrained in me but every once in a while I run into someone who is quite certain I'm saying my name incorrectly. Grar! Sidenote, how do you say slep?
  - khedoros1 9y ago
    If it is "Slep", Forebears shows ~68 people with that surname. The big searchbar on the front page of that site is a location search. Of course, I'm assuming that you aren't just using "Slep" as a similar example.
- khedoros1 9y ago
  My family's current spelling of my last name comes up with about 300 people. The original spelling comes up with about 450. It's ethnic and uses a sound that isn't really in English. Due to that, my family made it worse over time by shifting to a pronunciation that doesn't match anyone's reading of the name. It's always misspelled, misheard, and mispronounced, but I've never minded. It's more a source of amusement than annoyance or inconvenience. I can't imagine ever changing it.
- 9y ago
sosuke 9y ago
I have the same experience from just the facts but a totally different feeling about it. I love my fairly unique first name, Barrett, and when I give my name for restaurants or cafes I usually go with something super generic or fun, often just Bob or Barry. Cathal, if I am pronouncing it right in my head, just sounds cool to me. I have the worst time with hearing and understanding the non-romantic language names though. If you want to have fun come up with two words that when said together sound like or spell your name. Cathal, spelled cat-HAL. For the sounds I usually tell people my name is Barrett, as in grin and "bear it".
- phjesusthatguy3 9y ago
  My last name is Barrett, and I've found that most people have learned how to spell it over time. I used to have to say "like the hair clip, without the last 'e'" but within the last 20 years or so people just get it right the first time. I found it interesting that within the last 5 years or so, my employer found an employee with the last name of "Barritt"
Insanity 9y ago
I have a more or less common name, but there are multiple ways of spelling it and the English pronounciation does not match the one native to my country. Dylan is pronounced almost constantly in the English way to the point where I gave up correcting people. (Because I am okay with it even if it does not sound like 'my name'. To make it worse, my neighbour when growing up was about my age and his name was "dilan" pronounced the english "dylan" Way.. So friends mixed up our names sometimes. Though they sound quite different, at least to me. My last name has the same issue. Multiple pronounciations and spelling thus I always have to spell it out or correct people as well. And my last name is common in all spelling variants. Your problem does occur even without an exotic name, unfortunately :p
flowersoldier 9y ago
I have the same experience. I've never met anyone else with my name - Nehemiah. If I order food, I use the name Tom. No one wants to spell my name out, including me. Also the consonants are easily confused, so if I do spell it out people are like, N-E-A-T...Tom is easier for everyone involved. It does create a talking point when I mention to people that Tom is not my real name. I do agree with the article. Having a unique name does seem to imply to other people that I am a little different.
- qb45 9y ago
  If it will make you feel better, 10 years ago one of VIA Technologies C3-series x86 cores was codenamed Nehemiah :)
- cholantesh 9y ago
  I've taken to this mainly because my name has two syllables and still gets mangled out of shape by restaurant staff. For me the inside joke is that I get to pick the name of a favourite author, eg. Frank (herbert), Herb (Wells), Max (Muller), Fritz (Leiber), etc.

amyjess 9y ago

I grew up with an extremely rare last name. According to forebears.io, only 156 people in the world have my original last name. It's an obscure variant of a surname that's only slightly more common (forebears.io tells me that just over 19k people have it, which is still pretty low), and both are variant forms of an ethnic slur. To say it affected me negatively is an understatement. Nobody could spell it right, and nobody could pronounce it right. It made me feel like a freak because I was the only person I knew who had to spell their last name when giving it to people. And they still got it wrong. I've had my name misspelled on important documents, such as my lease and my electric bill. I hated the last name I was born with with the fury of a thousand exploding suns. Before I accepted that I was both trans and aromantic, I used to fantasize about getting married to a woman with a common last name like "Smith", taking my wife's last name, and giving the finger to anyone who tells me that a man shouldn't take his wife's name. Of course, I eventually came to accept the fact that a) I'd be much happier as a woman and really don't want to be a man and b) the idea of getting married or even being in any kind of romantic relationship actively disgusts me, so that fantasy went away and was replaced by a newer, more plausible fantasy, one that I eventually fulfilled: transitioning to female and legally changing my entire name. One of the hardest parts of my transition was choosing a new last name. My first name came easy, and while it took me a while to settle on a middle name, I was solely concerned with aesthetics for that one. But my new last name had to be perfect. It needed to have no variant spellings or variant pronunciations, it needed to be monosyllabic, it couldn't give away my ethnicity (I was sensitive about my old surname being a slur), it needed to be common, and I needed to like the sound of my initials (my initials were the only thing I ever liked about my deadname). It took me ages to find one. I even considered Korean surnames (particularly "Park"), because Korean was a language isolate (cognates are the biggest sources of variant spellings, and language isolates have no cognates), all Korean surnames are monosyllabic, and I liked that it would totally mislead people as to my ethnicity, but I eventually rejected them. Eventually, I relaxed my definition of "common": instead of requiring it be common as a last name, I'd also accept names of common household objects. And then I stumbled on the perfect surname, which also happened to be the literal English translation of my mother's maiden name, so I still had some kind of family connection without being obviously ethnic. While it's not super common as a last name (only 24k people according to forebears.io), it has an advantage in that it's one of the most common household objects you can think of: Book. If someone does mishear my name (and I have had people mishear it as "Brook", "Brooks", or "Buck"), all I have to say is "it's like the thing you read". You have no idea how happy I am now that I'm not saddled with that awful last name I was born with. All those awful feelings went away as soon as I walked out of the courtroom with the signed court order for my name change. I'm actually proud of my last name now. My name is Amy Jessica Book, and I love my name, which was something I was never able to say before mid-2014. Oh, and while I'm on the subject of my first and middle names: my old and new first names were roughly as common for my birth year in the US (two places apart) and both in the top 20, and my new middle name is much more common than my old one ("Jessica" is the 2nd most common girls' name for my birth year, and my old middle name didn't even crack the top 200 boys' names). Funny thing is that my old middle name is technically gender-neutral, but I've only ever even heard of one woman with that name, and she's a famous actress. It's also more common as a last name than as a first name, thanks to a certain astronaut. I like having common first and middle names. I don't want to stand out, and I like the anonymity that having very common first and middle names give me. I have to admit that I did consider "Sunset" as my middle name, because I liked the dichotomy of having a really common first name and an ultra-rare middle name, but I'm glad I made the choice I did (if only because AJB looks much nicer than ASB; I can even write the former as a ligature). "Amy Book" is even ungooglable, since googling it returns a ton of results for "Amy's book".

maxerickson 9y ago
I frequently end up spelling "Erickson". Just because all three of "c", "ck" and "k" are in common use. I think there are some "sen" variants too.
cjslep 9y ago
I too have a very rare last name. It doesn't even register in forebears.io (just using the simple search bar). Having to explain it's "sleep without one 'e'" and instruct people how to pronounce it every time is something that got annoying, but am used to it now. On the flip side, it's very easy to pick out relatives in a sea of names.
- frgtpsswrdlame 9y ago
  I've got a last name with about 900 people on forebears, the problem with mine though is that there are three groups(maybe families? I'm not sure) who all pronounce it differently(I happen to be in the least common basket). Correcting people on the pronounciation has been heavily ingrained in me but every once in a while I run into someone who is quite certain I'm saying my name incorrectly. Grar! Sidenote, how do you say slep?
- khedoros1 9y ago
  If it is "Slep", Forebears shows ~68 people with that surname. The big searchbar on the front page of that site is a location search. Of course, I'm assuming that you aren't just using "Slep" as a similar example.
khedoros1 9y ago
My family's current spelling of my last name comes up with about 300 people. The original spelling comes up with about 450. It's ethnic and uses a sound that isn't really in English. Due to that, my family made it worse over time by shifting to a pronunciation that doesn't match anyone's reading of the name. It's always misspelled, misheard, and mispronounced, but I've never minded. It's more a source of amusement than annoyance or inconvenience. I can't imagine ever changing it.
9y ago

sosuke 9y ago

I have the same experience from just the facts but a totally different feeling about it. I love my fairly unique first name, Barrett, and when I give my name for restaurants or cafes I usually go with something super generic or fun, often just Bob or Barry. Cathal, if I am pronouncing it right in my head, just sounds cool to me. I have the worst time with hearing and understanding the non-romantic language names though. If you want to have fun come up with two words that when said together sound like or spell your name. Cathal, spelled cat-HAL. For the sounds I usually tell people my name is Barrett, as in grin and "bear it".

phjesusthatguy3 9y ago
My last name is Barrett, and I've found that most people have learned how to spell it over time. I used to have to say "like the hair clip, without the last 'e'" but within the last 20 years or so people just get it right the first time. I found it interesting that within the last 5 years or so, my employer found an employee with the last name of "Barritt"

Insanity 9y ago

I have a more or less common name, but there are multiple ways of spelling it and the English pronounciation does not match the one native to my country. Dylan is pronounced almost constantly in the English way to the point where I gave up correcting people. (Because I am okay with it even if it does not sound like 'my name'. To make it worse, my neighbour when growing up was about my age and his name was "dilan" pronounced the english "dylan" Way.. So friends mixed up our names sometimes. Though they sound quite different, at least to me. My last name has the same issue. Multiple pronounciations and spelling thus I always have to spell it out or correct people as well. And my last name is common in all spelling variants. Your problem does occur even without an exotic name, unfortunately :p

flowersoldier 9y ago

I have the same experience. I've never met anyone else with my name - Nehemiah. If I order food, I use the name Tom. No one wants to spell my name out, including me. Also the consonants are easily confused, so if I do spell it out people are like, N-E-A-T...Tom is easier for everyone involved. It does create a talking point when I mention to people that Tom is not my real name. I do agree with the article. Having a unique name does seem to imply to other people that I am a little different.

qb45 9y ago
If it will make you feel better, 10 years ago one of VIA Technologies C3-series x86 cores was codenamed Nehemiah :)
cholantesh 9y ago
I've taken to this mainly because my name has two syllables and still gets mangled out of shape by restaurant staff. For me the inside joke is that I get to pick the name of a favourite author, eg. Frank (herbert), Herb (Wells), Max (Muller), Fritz (Leiber), etc.