4 ms·

Of course I agree that if someone can simply move to a better working situation, they should; that seems tautological. In practice, doing this takes preparation

Of course I agree that if someone can simply move to a better working situation, they should; that seems tautological. In practice, doing this takes preparation, and you can never really know what to expect until you've already made the jump. It's important to realize that going nomad any time work goes sideways will lead to a lot of instability over a period of years. It seems a more tenable solution is to control the response to one's working environment and then seek to control/improve the working environment, leaving the mirage of greener pastures as a last resort.

dismantlethesun 9y ago
I don't think it's simple. I know people that took as much as a year to find a job they liked while remaining employed at a poor workplace. However it is important, so even if it takes time and effort you should try to look for better work rather than accept the current situation.
watwut 9y ago
"It seems a more tenable solution is to control the response to one's working environment and then seek to control/improve the working environment, leaving the mirage of greener pastures as a last resort." That is when the work is somewhat acceptable, but not ideal. It is not when the work is "shitty" and its shitiness affects you. Most workplaces are not horribly shitty, really. Moreover, various people handle various kind of dysfunction differently. There are dysfunctions I handle well and can adjust to, but are also dysfunctions I handle badly. Ultimately, if it is easy to control the response to one's working environment, then it is not really bad. And really bad workplaces exist and will affect not just you, but your family and future too. If you have been unhappy in school, afterschool clubs and all employers, then I agree it is you. If you have been happy up to now and it is hell suddenly, then it is the place. If this is the latter, then it is good idea to seek new job immediately - that is not going nomad, that is looking at possibilities you have. Not doing so out of fear can be a mistake. You wont find good workplace if you are not looking for one. At minimum, once you take steps to find another job and know what is possible, you become objectively more in control of your life and will feel less trapped. Nothing bad can come out of that.
- cookiecaper 9y ago
  >There are dysfunctions I handle well and can adjust to, but are also dysfunctions I handle badly. Point taken, but this is not an acceptable excuse. You have to keep it together for your spouse and children. Lashing out at them is not acceptable regardless of what's happening at work. This attitude of "there are just some things I can't control" is pervasive and it's very dangerous. When we have people depending on us, we cannot allow ourselves to blame externalities for our behaviors. >Ultimately, if it is easy to control the response to one's working environment, then it is not really bad. And really bad workplaces exist and will affect not just you, but your family and future too. Along the same lines, it's not that it's easy to be reasonably pleasant in the midst of a stressful working engagement. But it is necessary. I agree that there are some working conditions that are total non-starters, but it's unlikely that you'd find yourself stuck there; you'd walk out on day 1 or 2 and go find a real job. Barring such conditions, I would argue that it is frequently more efficient to change the conditions at your current employer than to gain new employment. Remember we're talking in the context of an overpaid employee here, but developing the skills to do this instead of abandoning a company before your mobility is actually limited is a very smart thing. > If you have been happy up to now and it is hell suddenly, then it is the place. If the change is sudden, it'd be wise to inquire as to its nature and permanence before jumping ship. Sudden negative changes usually cause a mass exodus of skilled employees, so if you're already overpaid and the market is getting saturated with the resumes of your competitors, this is probably not a good time to jump ship. >At minimum, once you take steps to find another job and know what is possible, you become objectively more in control of your life and will feel less trapped. Nothing bad can come out of that. This thread is about overpaid people. Going out and looking is discouraging if you don't yet realize that you're overpaid and/or how difficult it would be to replace your current employer. You learn that your mobility is much lower than you thought it was, and this understandably creates a feel of being more, not less, trapped. It is good to have an accurate concept of one's economic position, but you won't necessarily feel less trapped.
  - watwut 9y ago
    People are not gods and nobody is perfect. Your spouse, unless autistic, knows you are not ok even if you are not lashing out directly. If changing job is an option, there is nothing wron with doing it. More then excuses, (young) people I see insist on assuming they can handle everything and proceed ignoring reality. Or to tell it honestly and directly, I prefer my husband to trust me and be happy at the job then seeing him unhappy every day and assuming I care more about salary then quality of time with me and children. I like to work too and I want to be useful to familly too. What you advocate is effectively putting all your mental strength on employer. These positions are not overpaid - the company pays that much because people don't want to stick around. Mostly because they are self aware and not stupid. If you are one of those who are unaffected, more power to you. However if you are, then you have to decide about prioritis - staying is about proving something to your self. It is not about family,so don't frame it as such. (It might still be ok if you realy really need to prove that thing - familly should be two way acceptance) Also, badly managed companies don't value good workers. If you stick, they will not reward it. It is not that easy to change those companies. Again, it is ok to leave bad employer in exchange for less money. Unless you think your wife is some kid of gold digger uninterested in you. If knowing accurate economic possibilities makes you unhappy, nothing will help you. Leaving is an option, really, and a bit less money in exchange of bit more good conditions are better for both you and other people around you.

dismantlethesun 9y ago

I don't think it's simple. I know people that took as much as a year to find a job they liked while remaining employed at a poor workplace. However it is important, so even if it takes time and effort you should try to look for better work rather than accept the current situation.

watwut 9y ago

"It seems a more tenable solution is to control the response to one's working environment and then seek to control/improve the working environment, leaving the mirage of greener pastures as a last resort." That is when the work is somewhat acceptable, but not ideal. It is not when the work is "shitty" and its shitiness affects you. Most workplaces are not horribly shitty, really. Moreover, various people handle various kind of dysfunction differently. There are dysfunctions I handle well and can adjust to, but are also dysfunctions I handle badly. Ultimately, if it is easy to control the response to one's working environment, then it is not really bad. And really bad workplaces exist and will affect not just you, but your family and future too. If you have been unhappy in school, afterschool clubs and all employers, then I agree it is you. If you have been happy up to now and it is hell suddenly, then it is the place. If this is the latter, then it is good idea to seek new job immediately - that is not going nomad, that is looking at possibilities you have. Not doing so out of fear can be a mistake. You wont find good workplace if you are not looking for one. At minimum, once you take steps to find another job and know what is possible, you become objectively more in control of your life and will feel less trapped. Nothing bad can come out of that.

cookiecaper 9y ago
>There are dysfunctions I handle well and can adjust to, but are also dysfunctions I handle badly. Point taken, but this is not an acceptable excuse. You have to keep it together for your spouse and children. Lashing out at them is not acceptable regardless of what's happening at work. This attitude of "there are just some things I can't control" is pervasive and it's very dangerous. When we have people depending on us, we cannot allow ourselves to blame externalities for our behaviors. >Ultimately, if it is easy to control the response to one's working environment, then it is not really bad. And really bad workplaces exist and will affect not just you, but your family and future too. Along the same lines, it's not that it's easy to be reasonably pleasant in the midst of a stressful working engagement. But it is necessary. I agree that there are some working conditions that are total non-starters, but it's unlikely that you'd find yourself stuck there; you'd walk out on day 1 or 2 and go find a real job. Barring such conditions, I would argue that it is frequently more efficient to change the conditions at your current employer than to gain new employment. Remember we're talking in the context of an overpaid employee here, but developing the skills to do this instead of abandoning a company before your mobility is actually limited is a very smart thing. > If you have been happy up to now and it is hell suddenly, then it is the place. If the change is sudden, it'd be wise to inquire as to its nature and permanence before jumping ship. Sudden negative changes usually cause a mass exodus of skilled employees, so if you're already overpaid and the market is getting saturated with the resumes of your competitors, this is probably not a good time to jump ship. >At minimum, once you take steps to find another job and know what is possible, you become objectively more in control of your life and will feel less trapped. Nothing bad can come out of that. This thread is about overpaid people. Going out and looking is discouraging if you don't yet realize that you're overpaid and/or how difficult it would be to replace your current employer. You learn that your mobility is much lower than you thought it was, and this understandably creates a feel of being more, not less, trapped. It is good to have an accurate concept of one's economic position, but you won't necessarily feel less trapped.
- watwut 9y ago
  People are not gods and nobody is perfect. Your spouse, unless autistic, knows you are not ok even if you are not lashing out directly. If changing job is an option, there is nothing wron with doing it. More then excuses, (young) people I see insist on assuming they can handle everything and proceed ignoring reality. Or to tell it honestly and directly, I prefer my husband to trust me and be happy at the job then seeing him unhappy every day and assuming I care more about salary then quality of time with me and children. I like to work too and I want to be useful to familly too. What you advocate is effectively putting all your mental strength on employer. These positions are not overpaid - the company pays that much because people don't want to stick around. Mostly because they are self aware and not stupid. If you are one of those who are unaffected, more power to you. However if you are, then you have to decide about prioritis - staying is about proving something to your self. It is not about family,so don't frame it as such. (It might still be ok if you realy really need to prove that thing - familly should be two way acceptance) Also, badly managed companies don't value good workers. If you stick, they will not reward it. It is not that easy to change those companies. Again, it is ok to leave bad employer in exchange for less money. Unless you think your wife is some kid of gold digger uninterested in you. If knowing accurate economic possibilities makes you unhappy, nothing will help you. Leaving is an option, really, and a bit less money in exchange of bit more good conditions are better for both you and other people around you.