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The thing is - with most nice people - even if you 'fail' they aren't going to hold it against you or make fun of you. In fact, most people won't even notice yo
by ljf 9y ago
The thing is - with most nice people - even if you 'fail' they aren't going to hold it against you or make fun of you. In fact, most people won't even notice your 'failures'. And if someone does make fun or hold it against you, it's a great time to consider cutting them out.
I remember years ago reading a comment about someone who was terrified of failure, until they learnt to skateboard - and realised that aside from the occasionally pulled off success, everyone was failing all the time, and that they reveled in the trying.
- germinalphrase 9y agoI felt the same way after recently starting a grappling based martial art. My entire training goal has been "learn to lose less quickly" - which is humbling.
- watwut 9y agoIt depends a bit on what exactly the failure was through. If you come across as clumsy and awkward, sure there should be no problem. If you unintentionally came across as rude, cruel, high maintenance to be around or something like that, people may make assumptions about you and act accordingly.
- maxxxxx 9y agoAnd I bet a lot of people who came across as rude don't really mean it.
- maxxxxx 9y agoLet's say you make an effort to talk to people and after doing that a lot people still don't talk to you or you invite people but they never invite you back and so on. It's clear you are doing something wrong but how do you figure out what's wrong and how to do it right? Skateboarding is much easier. The skateboard will be there tomorrow and you can try again. With people it's different. After a few awkward encounters they don't want to deal with you anymore.
- ljf 9y agoFair enough, I should have added that it's good to find places where failing is cheap - meet ups, public social events, mixers etc. I do understand that people can form opinions quickly that can stick.