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For sure the same problems exist in more traditional marriages too (and I made sure to explicitly mention this in my post), it's just that the likelihood of tho
by imron 10y ago
For sure the same problems exist in more traditional marriages too (and I made sure to explicitly mention this in my post), it's just that the likelihood of those things increases for marriages that end in divorce.
Individually, there are plenty of separated families that are successful and happy, and plenty of long-term marriages that are miserable and awful for the people involved. When applied to society as a whole though, on average, long-term, stable marriages have better life outcomes for the people involved than ones that ended in divorce.
I don't think it's necessarily a result of stigmatization either, rather it's that life is just objectively more difficult for a larger percentage of divorced families, and in order to be able to make a living, compromises have to be made.
For example, take a married housewife, who suddenly finds herself divorced, and is now a single mum needing to work to survive because maybe alimony and child-support aren't enough (or the dad is a deadbeat and doesn't pay as much as he should).
Years out of the workforce (and maybe also sacrificing education and/or career development for her children) limit the jobs available and alimony/child support might not be enough to make up the difference.
So maybe she has to work multiple jobs, or is working at odd hours and so the children become latchkey kids, with little/no adult supervision and guidance when they come home.
It not stigmatization that causes the problem, it's just an objectively more difficult situation than if the marriage had been stable and healthy, and although latchkey kids is not a phenomenon limited to single-parent families, it is more likely to occur in single-parent families because circumstances are more likely to require it.
Likewise for things like sexual abuse. The chance of it happening increases significantly with non-biological parents or partners. Again that's not anything to do with stigmatization, rather that if a divorce occurs, then when the parents get involved with new partners it increases that risk. It happens too with biological parents, but just at a lesser rate.
- kelnos 9y agoLooking at your example, I see that more a problem of our general social organization than as a problem with divorce. In some cultures, extended families are close-knit. Cousins, aunts, uncles, and parents all help with taking care of and raising children. The Western concept of the nuclear family vs. extended family just doesn't really exist, or is at least minimized. Divorce there doesn't really affect the divorcee's livelihood, or that of any children. I'm not saying that's an ideal structure, just that it's a possible structure. The idea that Western nuclear family structure is the be-all end-all is a little silly, though. It's very fragile in exactly the ways you describe. The point I'm trying to make is that divorce is hard on people in large part because we as a society have decided that divorce should be hard on people. It doesn't have to be; we've just set up our family and community structures and support systems in such a way that divorced people (especially divorced people with children) will often have a harder life.