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"Purpose" Your child trusts you completely. Everything you do matters to him/her utterly. Your child withholds nothing and you find yourself, compelled to an

"Purpose" Your child trusts you completely. Everything you do matters to him/her utterly. Your child withholds nothing and you find yourself, compelled to answer in kind. I am a stay-at-home Dad running a small software company. My son was born a few weeks after I submitted the first proposal to develop the new product. His first two and a half years have been circumscribed by that contract. My daughter was born when the follow on contract went live. Her first two and half years have also been circumscribed by a contract - the second one. The late nights, early mornings, urgent crises, and - yes - triumphs (mine and my childrens') have been uncountable. You must manage your time around this. You won't have time to luxuriate in exploration before the Person from Porlock knocks. I miss the exploring. Sleep like a soldier when you can, work fast when you mind is clear and the house silent. I used to stay up late - now we are awoken with the sun by the Son. I have aged 10 years in 5 - no question about it. I also have lived 10 years in a very full 5. Caution, 2 children is more than twice as hard. Space them out - be in diapers with one at a time. Have family nearby (we did not) as the buffer softens the really hard times when everything goes wrong or everyone is sick. To your partner - be deeply affectionate for no reason and often. You will gain reserves for the tough times. That makes four startups - business, marriage, and two doses of purpose.

cwp 16y ago
"Purpose" is exactly right. I've been meaning to start a business for years, but I kept getting sucked into other people's projects because they were working on great stuff. Being a parent has really forced me to extend my planning horizon, get organized, figure out what's important (for my family as well as myself) and devote myself to it. When my daughter was born, I took 8 months off from my day job, intending to divide my time between taking care of the baby and banging out a prototype. I expected that I'd be able to work while the baby was asleep. That was true, but what I didn't expect was that my free time would come in very short intervals. I found I couldn't maintain focus long enough to create something new. Instead, I switched strategies and started doing contract work. That was better; with well-defined tasks, I could make real progress in 15 or 20 minutes, be interrupted and then efficiently pickup where I left off. That was a setback, no doubt, but it hasn't derailed me the way it once would have. Not making progress on my prototype delays my startup plans, but it does put me in a better financial position to carry them out. My purpose is clear and concrete. It's not some abstract ambition like making "a lot" of money, gaining the admiration of my peers, or "being a success." It's to be able to give my family what they need, as completely as possible. So being a parent has forced me to take a slower, more deliberate path, but it's also given me the determination required to walk it.

cwp 16y ago

"Purpose" is exactly right. I've been meaning to start a business for years, but I kept getting sucked into other people's projects because they were working on great stuff. Being a parent has really forced me to extend my planning horizon, get organized, figure out what's important (for my family as well as myself) and devote myself to it. When my daughter was born, I took 8 months off from my day job, intending to divide my time between taking care of the baby and banging out a prototype. I expected that I'd be able to work while the baby was asleep. That was true, but what I didn't expect was that my free time would come in very short intervals. I found I couldn't maintain focus long enough to create something new. Instead, I switched strategies and started doing contract work. That was better; with well-defined tasks, I could make real progress in 15 or 20 minutes, be interrupted and then efficiently pickup where I left off. That was a setback, no doubt, but it hasn't derailed me the way it once would have. Not making progress on my prototype delays my startup plans, but it does put me in a better financial position to carry them out. My purpose is clear and concrete. It's not some abstract ambition like making "a lot" of money, gaining the admiration of my peers, or "being a success." It's to be able to give my family what they need, as completely as possible. So being a parent has forced me to take a slower, more deliberate path, but it's also given me the determination required to walk it.