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So it sounds like it's a matter of testing out a variety of events to find the right ones. What do you do to make it a game? One friend suggested creating a c

So it sounds like it's a matter of testing out a variety of events to find the right ones. What do you do to make it a game? One friend suggested creating a character who enjoys whatever it is the event requires and pretending to be her (or even him). I haven't tried this yet, but will. I also realized a few days ago that I'm seeing the crowd as me + everyone else, where "everyone else" is a single entity which knows a lot of things that I don't. I have to keep reminding myself that to any given person, I'm part of "everyone else". These things help a little. The odd-one-out feeling comes from somewhere way down deep though, it (or whatever causes it) filters my words and behavior before they even get to my conscious mind. I don't think it's something anyone can just turn off, no matter how irrational it is. It can be quite frustrating. There must be ways to work around it though.

jamesbritt 16y ago
"What do you do to make it a game?" Um, I sort of pretend to be a social person:) I was never much of a people person, but I earned my way through school working at hotels, and had to deal with people all the time. I learned a few tricks, mostly around the idea of having a public personae. I also learned that people like to talk about themselves, so I see how long I can go without using the words "I" or "me", and pretend like I'm interviewing people. (Sort of; enough to keep the conversation moving before it becomes yet another monologue by and about James.) 'I also realized a few days ago that I'm seeing the crowd as me + everyone else, where "everyone else" is a single entity which knows a lot of things that I don't. I have to keep reminding myself that to any given person, I'm part of "everyone else".' It seems that most people, most of the time, are thinking more about themselves than about you or anyone else in the room. I know what you mean about that deep-rooted odd-one-out feeling. If it's any consolation, there seem to be quite a lot us odd-one-out people. Also, if you keep pushing yourself, that feeling tends to fade, at least somewhat. If noting else, if you make repeat visits to various events, you'll make friends and acquaintances, and it gets easier. Years ago I would never have imagined myself being the sort of person to lead a rock band or organize social gatherings or give talks to hundreds of people. But I've done it, and while I'm still geeky/gawky in the process, I've learned a hell of a lot. I'm seriously tempted to go check out Toastmasters, too, to improve my public speaking and general social skills. http://www.toastmasters.org/ http://www.toastmasters.org/

jamesbritt 16y ago

"What do you do to make it a game?" Um, I sort of pretend to be a social person:) I was never much of a people person, but I earned my way through school working at hotels, and had to deal with people all the time. I learned a few tricks, mostly around the idea of having a public personae. I also learned that people like to talk about themselves, so I see how long I can go without using the words "I" or "me", and pretend like I'm interviewing people. (Sort of; enough to keep the conversation moving before it becomes yet another monologue by and about James.) 'I also realized a few days ago that I'm seeing the crowd as me + everyone else, where "everyone else" is a single entity which knows a lot of things that I don't. I have to keep reminding myself that to any given person, I'm part of "everyone else".' It seems that most people, most of the time, are thinking more about themselves than about you or anyone else in the room. I know what you mean about that deep-rooted odd-one-out feeling. If it's any consolation, there seem to be quite a lot us odd-one-out people. Also, if you keep pushing yourself, that feeling tends to fade, at least somewhat. If noting else, if you make repeat visits to various events, you'll make friends and acquaintances, and it gets easier. Years ago I would never have imagined myself being the sort of person to lead a rock band or organize social gatherings or give talks to hundreds of people. But I've done it, and while I'm still geeky/gawky in the process, I've learned a hell of a lot. I'm seriously tempted to go check out Toastmasters, too, to improve my public speaking and general social skills. http://www.toastmasters.org/ http://www.toastmasters.org/