At this point I cannot hold any sympathy for people in tech getting screwed over by PayPal. We have all read the horror stories and, if you're still using them

At this point I cannot hold any sympathy for people in tech getting screwed over by PayPal. We have all read the horror stories and, if you're still using them, you've got no one else to blame but yourself. At which point you will write your own horror story with the faint hope that it goes viral and forces PayPal to make things right. This is specially true for someone who, like OP, immediately liquidises the asset. Pick a digital currency, any currency.