4 ms·

Very true. Meeting friends through friends is much more effective. And Networking events usually wind up having too many insurance salespeople!

godmodus 9y ago
Thats a catch 22 for some. Cant meet friends through friends if you dont have feiends.
- QML 9y ago
  Just think about it as an exponential function. All you need is a seed value of 1 -- so make that one friend.
  - im3w1l 9y ago
    Not really - it only works if that one friend is connected, and if they are willing to take you to events with their other friends. I know many people who prefer meeting 1-on-1.
mjevans 9y ago
Has to be the right friends and social activities too. I don't want to drink or do other recreational drugs (even if they are legal). Going and not doing also seems to be not an option, you're clearly the black sheep.
- tonyarkles 9y ago
  I don't drink often, and when I do it's usually just one or two with my partner to unwind at home. I used to though, pretty heavily, and making that transition was tough: a) I definitely had been using alcohol as a social crutch and felt super self-conscious at parties when I wasn't drinking, and b) a lot of my friends knew me as a drinker and would give me some grief about it. I've found two things that really made it easy to go to parties and things and not drink: - Don't make a big deal about it, just politely decline when someone offers you a drink. "Can I get you a drink?" "I'm good, thanks" or "no thanks" is all it takes. If you say "no, I don't drink" to someone who's been drinking, that's way more likely to turn into an awkward situation. Alternatively, "I've got to drive" works too. - Don't make it obvious that you haven't been drinking. If people are cheering and being loud, participate! You're at a party! When I first cut back, I often tried to talk about whatever it was I was thinking about at the time and was often met with "Dude, why are you thinking about that right now? We're on a pub crawl!" Time and place. Now when I go out to a party, I'll hang out, do whatever's going on, and usually offer a few people a ride home whenever I'm getting ready to leave. Still gives me a chance to socialize for a while, catch up with old friends/meet new ones, and then I get to wake up and feel great the next morning. Edit: re: being the "black sheep"... if you're otherwise just going with the flow of conversation and energy in the room, the only person who will really notice whether or not you're drinking is you. Hell, I sometimes even play drinking games (e.g. sociables) with a glass of water. Some people know that I'm just drinking water, some don't, but no one cares because I'm in there having fun with everyone else. Also, if you're at a party with red solo cups, water is pretty much indistinguishable from any other drink, and if you're really feeling self-conscious about it, some Sprite or Coke or whatever with a few ice cubes is visually identical to a mixed drink. Beer might be trickier.
- mathattack 9y ago
  There are lots of non-drinking non-drugs activities out there. In any major city, there are others with similar interest. Jiu jitsu, swing dancing, Minecraft, legos, take your pick...

godmodus 9y ago

Thats a catch 22 for some. Cant meet friends through friends if you dont have feiends.

QML 9y ago
Just think about it as an exponential function. All you need is a seed value of 1 -- so make that one friend.
- im3w1l 9y ago
  Not really - it only works if that one friend is connected, and if they are willing to take you to events with their other friends. I know many people who prefer meeting 1-on-1.

mjevans 9y ago

Has to be the right friends and social activities too. I don't want to drink or do other recreational drugs (even if they are legal). Going and not doing also seems to be not an option, you're clearly the black sheep.

tonyarkles 9y ago
I don't drink often, and when I do it's usually just one or two with my partner to unwind at home. I used to though, pretty heavily, and making that transition was tough: a) I definitely had been using alcohol as a social crutch and felt super self-conscious at parties when I wasn't drinking, and b) a lot of my friends knew me as a drinker and would give me some grief about it. I've found two things that really made it easy to go to parties and things and not drink: - Don't make a big deal about it, just politely decline when someone offers you a drink. "Can I get you a drink?" "I'm good, thanks" or "no thanks" is all it takes. If you say "no, I don't drink" to someone who's been drinking, that's way more likely to turn into an awkward situation. Alternatively, "I've got to drive" works too. - Don't make it obvious that you haven't been drinking. If people are cheering and being loud, participate! You're at a party! When I first cut back, I often tried to talk about whatever it was I was thinking about at the time and was often met with "Dude, why are you thinking about that right now? We're on a pub crawl!" Time and place. Now when I go out to a party, I'll hang out, do whatever's going on, and usually offer a few people a ride home whenever I'm getting ready to leave. Still gives me a chance to socialize for a while, catch up with old friends/meet new ones, and then I get to wake up and feel great the next morning. Edit: re: being the "black sheep"... if you're otherwise just going with the flow of conversation and energy in the room, the only person who will really notice whether or not you're drinking is you. Hell, I sometimes even play drinking games (e.g. sociables) with a glass of water. Some people know that I'm just drinking water, some don't, but no one cares because I'm in there having fun with everyone else. Also, if you're at a party with red solo cups, water is pretty much indistinguishable from any other drink, and if you're really feeling self-conscious about it, some Sprite or Coke or whatever with a few ice cubes is visually identical to a mixed drink. Beer might be trickier.
mathattack 9y ago
There are lots of non-drinking non-drugs activities out there. In any major city, there are others with similar interest. Jiu jitsu, swing dancing, Minecraft, legos, take your pick...