3 ms·

Is that really the impression they give? As a wallflower I wish people would start conversations with socially inept people like me and help them ease in publi

• mjevans 10y ago
  Particularly when I don't have any friends to be there with.
• aidenn0 10y ago
  It is 100% the impression they give. For any non-compulsory social event it's usually not true though. (Ultimately there has to be a reason they are at a social gathering; if it's not because somebody else made them go, then they want to socialize).
• nl 10y ago
  Yes. As someone who has to fight my natural introversion I've noticed it is very hard to talk to someone who is literally standing by a wall. There's no way to approach them except deliberately, and.. well why would anyone try talking to someone who is hard to talk to when there are easier options. Instead, have a plan. And your plan includes at least one conversation map, which gets you through at least 2 minutes of conversation. Feel free to steal mine: Go and get a drink (it doesn't have to be alcoholic) and then say this to the person next to you: "Excuse me, I'm XXX. Do you know anyone here?". Their answer is either "Yes.. this is YYYY". Then you go "Hi! What do you do?". Or else they go "No, I don't know anyone either." Then you go: "Oh, I hate coming to this kind of thing when I don't know anyone. So what do you do?" The next level of this is to bring a third person in. Wait until you see someone looking lost (remember, you are near the food/drink, so people are walking past you) and go "Hi, I'm XXXX and this is YYYY. YYYY is a blah blah blah", and now you know at least 2 people, and are at the core of a group of people talking.