Coming from a state where even $50K/hh is quite comfortable (maybe slightly less so with a family of 4, but still beyond "rice and beans" level), I have to ask:

Coming from a state where even $50K/hh is quite comfortable (maybe slightly less so with a family of 4, but still beyond "rice and beans" level), I have to ask: how is this even possible? It strains credulity. OK, sure, rents/real estate are higher. A LOT higher. But other than that, you're not going to pay substantially more for a car, computer, or any other consumer good in CA than anywhere else. Gas and food are somewhat higher, although some of that, based on my visits to and relatives in CA, seems to be based on more picky eating preferences than inherent logistical problems (but you say you don't do that). It seems outlandish on its face: you know that a $400K household has to be way above the median, even in Oakland. So how is everyone else surviving?