There really needs to be a tradeoff here. Control is great, but it can't be so black-on-white as to implying that nothing at all would convince you to give up c

There really needs to be a tradeoff here. Control is great, but it can't be so black-on-white as to implying that nothing at all would convince you to give up control all the way down to kernel features. Plus, it's a template, not a closed solution - after it runs, you can observe what was created and tweak to your liking. If you do so much configuration as you're implying, you probably have some templates of your own.