It seems like you should propose your project to Sony, not to HN, or maybe I am completely missing the scope of it. Anyway, I would add a "in my opinion" to th

It seems like you should propose your project to Sony, not to HN, or maybe I am completely missing the scope of it. Anyway, I would add a "in my opinion" to the sentence: >More than ever, Sony has become irrelevant as a provider of our everyday devices. Sony needs to rebrand itself as well as simplify and streamline its offerings.