3 ms·

Why are you assuming my kids will have crippling debt? What if they are happy to start off life in a simple one bed apartment of which our contribution will be

by phs318u 10y ago

Why are you assuming my kids will have crippling debt? What if they are happy to start off life in a simple one bed apartment of which our contribution will be roughly 80% of the cost? My parents started their life together in a small flat and ended up in a 3 bed home which growing up we thought was huge. My girls' expectations are not unrealistic. They don't expect to move out of the family home and into a huge home with a pool. I never said people were lazy or stupid nor did I imply it. However to claim as some are, that people don't have choices in life is just plain wrong. You might not like the choices you have available but you've got them. And you're free to choose your path from among them. Don't get me wrong and conflate what I'm saying with some kind political ideology. All I'm saying is that people are faced with personal choices and need to own their choices and the consequences of their choices.

falcolas 10y ago
> Why are you assuming my kids will have crippling debt? Not the OP, but do they expect to go to college? Do you plan to cover their college costs? If the answers are yes and no, they will come away with anywhere from $20,000 to $200,000 in student loan debts. I'm not sure how it could be more crippling... You may have set the expectation that they will go out and live on their own, but were one of them to come to the point of becoming homeless (whatever the cause), would you let that happen to them? If one developed a crippling disease which didn't let them work a full time job, but also didn't kill them outright, what would you do then? Intentions are great, but reality tends to kick intentions to the curb.
- cmahler7 10y ago
  there's things called scholarships, worked well for me and lots of other people. The problem is that easy student loans has made it so people who should have never gone to college are now going and flunking out after a few semesters of partying and now have 10s of thousands in debt with nothing to show for it. Combine easy money with indoctrination telling kids that they will be losers if they don't go and you have the current situation
  - falcolas 10y ago
    Scholarships are hard to get when you're a white male with perfectly good (but not exceptional) grades. A bit easier when you're a woman, since they have more scholarships earmarked for you. Most people won't have scholorships, or at least not enough scholorships to cover their entire tuition. > telling kids that they will be losers if they don't go It's worse than "mere" peer pressure. A 4 year college education is all-but-required for entry level white collar jobs anymore. A college degree is this century's High School Diploma.
    - cmahler7 10y ago
      Not really, only 1/3rd of millennials have degrees. Meanwhile there are tons of trade jobs that don't get filled because there's a stigma against it.
      - falcolas 10y ago
        > because there's a stigma against it. And they frequently paid really low wages, since they're expected to be filled by immigrants, both legal and illegal. $10 an hour seasonally to pick onions? $15 an hour for a professional welder? Those are near-poverty level wages.
- pm90 10y ago
  There are ways to do college cheaply. A peer mentioned scholarships if you come from an economically disadvantageous background. But there is always the Community College option. I think that is often overlooked because parents want their kids to enjoy the same "college lifestyle" that they themselves had, but it might be financially more prudent for them to start CC and then transfer to a better college later. Having a manageable student debt is undoubtedly more important than the "college experience" IMO. College is really really important for the education; if you make the most of it and obtain the skills to make money, you ensure a much more sustainable and enjoyable quality of life.
- phs318u 10y ago
  In Australia where I live, the student loans are not as great and are paid via a government interest free loan that is repaid as an additional "tax" once your salary exceeds a certain threshold. This is another reason I'm thankful we're not in the US. With respect to disease and circumstances truly beyond their control then we will do whatever is necessary at that time. However they are exceptional circumstances. With respect to homelessness my response will be measured against their attempts to exit those circumstances (irrespective of how they got there). So if they are addicted to a substance (for example) then if they are actively trying to shake that addiction (or showing a true willingness to) then I will help them do so. My view of parenting is that our goal should always be to try and raise resilient, independent kids. It is not to provide an infinite bank for those that aren't interested in owning their own lives.
icefox 10y ago
If you will give them 80% of the cost they will choose something bigger than they should. Checkout the book the millionaire next door for some stories about parents that would subsidies their children and how it turned out.
- phs318u 10y ago
  If they choose unwisely they will have to live with the consequences of their choices. That's the whole point.

by phs318u 10y ago

falcolas 10y ago

> Why are you assuming my kids will have crippling debt? Not the OP, but do they expect to go to college? Do you plan to cover their college costs? If the answers are yes and no, they will come away with anywhere from $20,000 to $200,000 in student loan debts. I'm not sure how it could be more crippling... You may have set the expectation that they will go out and live on their own, but were one of them to come to the point of becoming homeless (whatever the cause), would you let that happen to them? If one developed a crippling disease which didn't let them work a full time job, but also didn't kill them outright, what would you do then? Intentions are great, but reality tends to kick intentions to the curb.

cmahler7 10y ago
there's things called scholarships, worked well for me and lots of other people. The problem is that easy student loans has made it so people who should have never gone to college are now going and flunking out after a few semesters of partying and now have 10s of thousands in debt with nothing to show for it. Combine easy money with indoctrination telling kids that they will be losers if they don't go and you have the current situation
- falcolas 10y ago
  Scholarships are hard to get when you're a white male with perfectly good (but not exceptional) grades. A bit easier when you're a woman, since they have more scholarships earmarked for you. Most people won't have scholorships, or at least not enough scholorships to cover their entire tuition. > telling kids that they will be losers if they don't go It's worse than "mere" peer pressure. A 4 year college education is all-but-required for entry level white collar jobs anymore. A college degree is this century's High School Diploma.
  - cmahler7 10y ago
    Not really, only 1/3rd of millennials have degrees. Meanwhile there are tons of trade jobs that don't get filled because there's a stigma against it.
    - falcolas 10y ago
      > because there's a stigma against it. And they frequently paid really low wages, since they're expected to be filled by immigrants, both legal and illegal. $10 an hour seasonally to pick onions? $15 an hour for a professional welder? Those are near-poverty level wages.
pm90 10y ago
There are ways to do college cheaply. A peer mentioned scholarships if you come from an economically disadvantageous background. But there is always the Community College option. I think that is often overlooked because parents want their kids to enjoy the same "college lifestyle" that they themselves had, but it might be financially more prudent for them to start CC and then transfer to a better college later. Having a manageable student debt is undoubtedly more important than the "college experience" IMO. College is really really important for the education; if you make the most of it and obtain the skills to make money, you ensure a much more sustainable and enjoyable quality of life.
phs318u 10y ago
In Australia where I live, the student loans are not as great and are paid via a government interest free loan that is repaid as an additional "tax" once your salary exceeds a certain threshold. This is another reason I'm thankful we're not in the US. With respect to disease and circumstances truly beyond their control then we will do whatever is necessary at that time. However they are exceptional circumstances. With respect to homelessness my response will be measured against their attempts to exit those circumstances (irrespective of how they got there). So if they are addicted to a substance (for example) then if they are actively trying to shake that addiction (or showing a true willingness to) then I will help them do so. My view of parenting is that our goal should always be to try and raise resilient, independent kids. It is not to provide an infinite bank for those that aren't interested in owning their own lives.

icefox 10y ago

If you will give them 80% of the cost they will choose something bigger than they should. Checkout the book the millionaire next door for some stories about parents that would subsidies their children and how it turned out.

phs318u 10y ago
If they choose unwisely they will have to live with the consequences of their choices. That's the whole point.