10 ms·

I always mean to go to meetups to meet other programmers in my area, but 99.9% of the time I don't actually do it. Every single meetup is in the evening after w

I always mean to go to meetups to meet other programmers in my area, but 99.9% of the time I don't actually do it. Every single meetup is in the evening after work, when I'm tired and just want to go home. Maybe this is less of a problem when you're in your early twenties, single, and used to staying out late. But at this point in my life, not getting home to my wife until 9 or 10 so I can maybe making some soft connections just doesn't seem worth it.

leemac 10y ago
I'm in the same boat. There are a ton of Boston meetups, but I live in the suburbs for many lifestyle reasons. The commute doesn't justify sticking around after hours when I have an hour and a half walk/train/drive home.
- mreome 10y ago
  Similar situation here as well; live and work just a bit outside of the Boston metro area, driving in/out after work is definitely a deterrent.
aaronchall 10y ago
You say you mean to go and then 99.99% of the time you don't. When I mean to attend a meetup, I RSVP "Yes". I presume you do too. If you can't make it, please be courteous and release your "yes" RSVP so that people on the waitlist can get in and so that the organizers can plan more accurately. If you aren't likely to make it in the first place, please don't RSVP "yes" for the off-chance that you feel like going - please wait until you know you are going for certain to update your RSVP.
- kordless 10y ago
  Using "you" here is a bit blaming, especially given the nature of RSVP is "Reply if you please". If someone wants to RSVP for an event, that means they choose the event for themselves in their internal view. Out here, especially with social sites, RSVP is taking on another meaning entirely. Those "slots" are fictitious (just like airlines overselling seats) and assuming attendance numbers will be what something like Meetup says they are is irrational. I usually factor in a 40% attendance rate - nothing wrong with that if it's more, but it's unlikely to be 100%, unless one holds an irrational belief their event is going to net more than another. That's not to say it doesn't make planning for the event a bit more challenging, but I seriously doubt there anything anyone can do about it other than charging for the event, which may not be desirable.
  - aaronchall 10y ago
    That's why I said "If". You're right, that on aggregate, groups do factor in a poor showup rate. And that adds to the cost of hosting. You risk buying too much perishable food versus running out of food and disappointing the latecomers. There are options for dealing with this: - Charge for the meetup (but then people with fewer resources can't come.) - Track no-shows, and kick them out of the group (which is a burden for the organizers and can penalize people with really good reasons for not being able to make it.) - But just saying something about it makes a difference in the showup rates (we tried it and it works). So that's what I'm doing here.
    - nulagrithom 10y ago
      If you're "kicking people out of the group" and telling people not to "RSVP" unless they're 100% committed, then I feel like you're more effectively making people disinterested in your group than you are solving your attendance estimation problem. If your group is so large that you have a waitlist, I'd be willing to bet there's a consistent statistic of RVSP vs Attendance that you could rely on. Maybe check records of your past events and see if there's much fluctuation?
      - monksy 10y ago
        You would be surprised on the amount of people who sign up for a meetup group and never attend a single meetup.
        ghaff 10y ago
        Not the sort of meetups people are talking about here, but I'm on a bunch of lists and a number of meetup groups where I have never or only rarely attended an event.
        monksy 10y ago
        I run a social group that has about 3.6k+ people on it. We have about 200-300 active people at any given time. Most of the people who drop out of the group have 0 RSVP Yeses, and 0 RSVP Nos. We do a lot to get attendance up and to create events that people want to attend.
- draw_down 10y ago
  What? Who said anything about RSVPing?
  - dceddia 10y ago
    They didn't, but, in the off chance that when they said "I always mean to go but rarely do" they actually meant "I always RSVP to those things but I never go", I think the parent was just taking the opportunity to make a general PSA about how the etiquette works.
- mancerayder 10y ago
  You say you mean to go and then 99.99% of the time you don't. When I mean to attend a meetup, I RSVP "Yes". I presume you do too. If you can't make it, please be courteous and release your "yes" RSVP so that people on the waitlist can get in and so that the organizers can plan more accurately. If you aren't likely to make it in the first place, please don't RSVP "yes" for the off-chance that you feel like going - please wait until you know you are going for certain to update your RSVP. A good organizer knows this is statistical. Only a certain percentage of people show up in any given 'open' social meetup event. I've been going to these for years and the organizers tend to account for that. I'm surprised programmer-organizers wouldn't be even more keen on the statistical and probability aspect of organizing headcount.
  - jaredsohn 10y ago
    Fortunately, I haven't experienced any situation where a lot more people actually show than is expected due to the 'overbooking' and then when someone essential shows up (perhaps a speaker) they have to drag someone out to make room :)
    - aaronchall 10y ago
      We have never asked people to leave, to my knowledge. We usually have businesses hosting us, so we are well below the fire-code head count limits, while still maxing out at what the business is comfortable hosting a head count at. We have had to turn people away at the door. This is very rare, and I hate to do it. (If it looks like we need to, I try to make an announcement before everyone shows up so we aren't turning away dozens of people a quarter of an hour after the start time. I have only done this a couple of times.)
      - jaredsohn 10y ago
        I've been to meetups where this happened and while it isn't ideal I've usually received a warning that I should show up early. I was talking more about telling somebody already inside that they have to leave because they were randomly selected (and using the police to force the issue if needed), similar to what recently happened with United.
sotojuan 10y ago
I'm 23 and feel the same way. I went to meetups during college when I was free at 2-4pm. Now I get off work at 6pm and most meetups are in places that extend my commute home by 20 mins. I really don't think they're worth getting home at 10pm. Also, not to sound rude, but I get enough of socializing with programmers at work.
- BoorishBears 10y ago
  I'm 23 and work til 5-6 and go to meetups from 20 minutes away up to almost 2 hours away on weekdays, but then again I really love meetups. I think part of it is I don't feel like I get enough socializing with programmers at work...
  - sotojuan 10y ago
    To each their own! Glad you found great meetups.
Terriblehn 10y ago
Sounds like you are unhealthy, low energy, or just a little bitch
rebootthesystem 10y ago
Agreed to all your points. I'll add that I have no interest in going drinking. A number of tech meetups (no necessarily programming) are held at loud venues and involve alcohol. In other words, getting drunk under loud music while yelling at each other 'cause you can't hear and not hearing half of what other people say. Exactly what I need after a twelve hour day. I never understood how this can be considered "networking". It's shallow, ineffectual and mostly useless.
gangstead 10y ago
What kind of meetup would you go to? I organize a meetup and I'm always struggling with how to increase attendance of people like me (and you) - not in 20's, have a house/spouse/kids and a commute home to the suburbs. In general I'm having problems connecting with anyone my age outside of work. They all seem to have very little capacity or interest to do anything other than go home from work and see their family.
- cf 10y ago
  Consider having in during lunch hours. Especially if there is a topic relevant to work, managers will be super supportive of people going to them.
  - gangstead 10y ago
    That's a good idea. Travel time may be an issue (I'm looking to network with developers outside my company). Also I feel that the type of people who won't take a detour on the way home from work will also eat lunch at their desk so that they can leave a few minutes sooner.
    - cf 10y ago
      People with kids have very particular timetables they have to hit. Usually their lunch time would not be so regimented. Truthfully, though the best thing is to try it out and see the kind of people you get. I made it a point to engage with every attendee I did not immediately recognize and find why were they there and if this was their first meetup what got them there.
- tvanantwerp 10y ago
  I would absolutely go to lunch events. (It's quite common for the non-programmers where I work within their fields.)
b3b0p 10y ago
I get this, I really do. I had to feel like I was forcing myself at times to go, but I knew it was good for me to get out, meet like minded people with similar interests. My manager even encouraged me. You know what, I got my current dream job from it! It takes motivation, drive, and determination at times, but it can pay off. I'm 35, but it shouldn't matter what age you are. I am single, but I don't stay out late and I do have to get up early to start my day. I do live downtown though which helps (Austin). Which made going to the meet-ups no more than a 10 min walk to and from my work and apartment.

leemac 10y ago

I'm in the same boat. There are a ton of Boston meetups, but I live in the suburbs for many lifestyle reasons. The commute doesn't justify sticking around after hours when I have an hour and a half walk/train/drive home.

mreome 10y ago
Similar situation here as well; live and work just a bit outside of the Boston metro area, driving in/out after work is definitely a deterrent.

aaronchall 10y ago

You say you mean to go and then 99.99% of the time you don't. When I mean to attend a meetup, I RSVP "Yes". I presume you do too. If you can't make it, please be courteous and release your "yes" RSVP so that people on the waitlist can get in and so that the organizers can plan more accurately. If you aren't likely to make it in the first place, please don't RSVP "yes" for the off-chance that you feel like going - please wait until you know you are going for certain to update your RSVP.

kordless 10y ago
Using "you" here is a bit blaming, especially given the nature of RSVP is "Reply if you please". If someone wants to RSVP for an event, that means they choose the event for themselves in their internal view. Out here, especially with social sites, RSVP is taking on another meaning entirely. Those "slots" are fictitious (just like airlines overselling seats) and assuming attendance numbers will be what something like Meetup says they are is irrational. I usually factor in a 40% attendance rate - nothing wrong with that if it's more, but it's unlikely to be 100%, unless one holds an irrational belief their event is going to net more than another. That's not to say it doesn't make planning for the event a bit more challenging, but I seriously doubt there anything anyone can do about it other than charging for the event, which may not be desirable.
- aaronchall 10y ago
  That's why I said "If". You're right, that on aggregate, groups do factor in a poor showup rate. And that adds to the cost of hosting. You risk buying too much perishable food versus running out of food and disappointing the latecomers. There are options for dealing with this: - Charge for the meetup (but then people with fewer resources can't come.) - Track no-shows, and kick them out of the group (which is a burden for the organizers and can penalize people with really good reasons for not being able to make it.) - But just saying something about it makes a difference in the showup rates (we tried it and it works). So that's what I'm doing here.
  - nulagrithom 10y ago
    If you're "kicking people out of the group" and telling people not to "RSVP" unless they're 100% committed, then I feel like you're more effectively making people disinterested in your group than you are solving your attendance estimation problem. If your group is so large that you have a waitlist, I'd be willing to bet there's a consistent statistic of RVSP vs Attendance that you could rely on. Maybe check records of your past events and see if there's much fluctuation?
    - monksy 10y ago
      You would be surprised on the amount of people who sign up for a meetup group and never attend a single meetup.
      - ghaff 10y ago
        Not the sort of meetups people are talking about here, but I'm on a bunch of lists and a number of meetup groups where I have never or only rarely attended an event.
        monksy 10y ago
        I run a social group that has about 3.6k+ people on it. We have about 200-300 active people at any given time. Most of the people who drop out of the group have 0 RSVP Yeses, and 0 RSVP Nos. We do a lot to get attendance up and to create events that people want to attend.
draw_down 10y ago
What? Who said anything about RSVPing?
- dceddia 10y ago
  They didn't, but, in the off chance that when they said "I always mean to go but rarely do" they actually meant "I always RSVP to those things but I never go", I think the parent was just taking the opportunity to make a general PSA about how the etiquette works.
mancerayder 10y ago
You say you mean to go and then 99.99% of the time you don't. When I mean to attend a meetup, I RSVP "Yes". I presume you do too. If you can't make it, please be courteous and release your "yes" RSVP so that people on the waitlist can get in and so that the organizers can plan more accurately. If you aren't likely to make it in the first place, please don't RSVP "yes" for the off-chance that you feel like going - please wait until you know you are going for certain to update your RSVP. A good organizer knows this is statistical. Only a certain percentage of people show up in any given 'open' social meetup event. I've been going to these for years and the organizers tend to account for that. I'm surprised programmer-organizers wouldn't be even more keen on the statistical and probability aspect of organizing headcount.
- jaredsohn 10y ago
  Fortunately, I haven't experienced any situation where a lot more people actually show than is expected due to the 'overbooking' and then when someone essential shows up (perhaps a speaker) they have to drag someone out to make room :)
  - aaronchall 10y ago
    We have never asked people to leave, to my knowledge. We usually have businesses hosting us, so we are well below the fire-code head count limits, while still maxing out at what the business is comfortable hosting a head count at. We have had to turn people away at the door. This is very rare, and I hate to do it. (If it looks like we need to, I try to make an announcement before everyone shows up so we aren't turning away dozens of people a quarter of an hour after the start time. I have only done this a couple of times.)
    - jaredsohn 10y ago
      I've been to meetups where this happened and while it isn't ideal I've usually received a warning that I should show up early. I was talking more about telling somebody already inside that they have to leave because they were randomly selected (and using the police to force the issue if needed), similar to what recently happened with United.

sotojuan 10y ago

I'm 23 and feel the same way. I went to meetups during college when I was free at 2-4pm. Now I get off work at 6pm and most meetups are in places that extend my commute home by 20 mins. I really don't think they're worth getting home at 10pm. Also, not to sound rude, but I get enough of socializing with programmers at work.

BoorishBears 10y ago
I'm 23 and work til 5-6 and go to meetups from 20 minutes away up to almost 2 hours away on weekdays, but then again I really love meetups. I think part of it is I don't feel like I get enough socializing with programmers at work...
- sotojuan 10y ago
  To each their own! Glad you found great meetups.

Terriblehn 10y ago

Sounds like you are unhealthy, low energy, or just a little bitch

rebootthesystem 10y ago

Agreed to all your points. I'll add that I have no interest in going drinking. A number of tech meetups (no necessarily programming) are held at loud venues and involve alcohol. In other words, getting drunk under loud music while yelling at each other 'cause you can't hear and not hearing half of what other people say. Exactly what I need after a twelve hour day. I never understood how this can be considered "networking". It's shallow, ineffectual and mostly useless.

gangstead 10y ago

What kind of meetup would you go to? I organize a meetup and I'm always struggling with how to increase attendance of people like me (and you) - not in 20's, have a house/spouse/kids and a commute home to the suburbs. In general I'm having problems connecting with anyone my age outside of work. They all seem to have very little capacity or interest to do anything other than go home from work and see their family.

cf 10y ago
Consider having in during lunch hours. Especially if there is a topic relevant to work, managers will be super supportive of people going to them.
- gangstead 10y ago
  That's a good idea. Travel time may be an issue (I'm looking to network with developers outside my company). Also I feel that the type of people who won't take a detour on the way home from work will also eat lunch at their desk so that they can leave a few minutes sooner.
  - cf 10y ago
    People with kids have very particular timetables they have to hit. Usually their lunch time would not be so regimented. Truthfully, though the best thing is to try it out and see the kind of people you get. I made it a point to engage with every attendee I did not immediately recognize and find why were they there and if this was their first meetup what got them there.
tvanantwerp 10y ago
I would absolutely go to lunch events. (It's quite common for the non-programmers where I work within their fields.)

b3b0p 10y ago

I get this, I really do. I had to feel like I was forcing myself at times to go, but I knew it was good for me to get out, meet like minded people with similar interests. My manager even encouraged me. You know what, I got my current dream job from it! It takes motivation, drive, and determination at times, but it can pay off. I'm 35, but it shouldn't matter what age you are. I am single, but I don't stay out late and I do have to get up early to start my day. I do live downtown though which helps (Austin). Which made going to the meet-ups no more than a 10 min walk to and from my work and apartment.