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The problem with the rape-example is that it's overly idealized - it's a tautology: If you're asking to get raped, then, yes, you're asking to get raped. But yo

The problem with the rape-example is that it's overly idealized - it's a tautology: If you're asking to get raped, then, yes, you're asking to get raped. But you're not. The majority of street-rapes (the actual majority of rapes are between people who already know each other) aren't of people "asking for it", it's of people who maybe didn't take all the precautions they could have, but all-in-all were just in the wrong place in the wrong time. And then it's not so simple - I don't think very many would think that a girl who walked three blocks alone deserved to get raped, even if it could have been avoided by taking a taxi or walking with a friend.

lukifer 16y ago
No one ever deserves to get raped (except perhaps a rapist, but that's another debate). At the same time, someone who gets drunk by themselves in a bad part of town has to take responsibility for that choice, that it's more likely to lead to getting mugged/stabbed/raped, etc. That does not mean the event is their fault, because no event has a singular cause. Moreover, accepting a small piece of that responsibility does not in any way absolve the transgressor, nor does it imply that the victim "deserved" it. Let's take a less visceral example: the tires on my car are somewhat worn, but not yet dangerously bald. My wife is driving on a rainy day, slowing down for the road conditions, but not by very much. The car skids and crashes into a tree, resulting in only minor injuries but a totaled car. Is it my fault for not being more vigilant on the tires? Her fault for not driving slow enough? No one's fault, just an unfortunate act of God? The answer to all three questions is "yes". Many couples would argue until they're blue in the face over who is at fault, until one gives up and backs down. The reality is that we both contributed to the situation, which potentially could have happened anyway. Acknowledging our personal contributions does not absolve the other party of theirs, nor does it mean the event is not simply an unlucky happenstance of the wrong time and place.

lukifer 16y ago

No one ever deserves to get raped (except perhaps a rapist, but that's another debate). At the same time, someone who gets drunk by themselves in a bad part of town has to take responsibility for that choice, that it's more likely to lead to getting mugged/stabbed/raped, etc. That does not mean the event is their fault, because no event has a singular cause. Moreover, accepting a small piece of that responsibility does not in any way absolve the transgressor, nor does it imply that the victim "deserved" it. Let's take a less visceral example: the tires on my car are somewhat worn, but not yet dangerously bald. My wife is driving on a rainy day, slowing down for the road conditions, but not by very much. The car skids and crashes into a tree, resulting in only minor injuries but a totaled car. Is it my fault for not being more vigilant on the tires? Her fault for not driving slow enough? No one's fault, just an unfortunate act of God? The answer to all three questions is "yes". Many couples would argue until they're blue in the face over who is at fault, until one gives up and backs down. The reality is that we both contributed to the situation, which potentially could have happened anyway. Acknowledging our personal contributions does not absolve the other party of theirs, nor does it mean the event is not simply an unlucky happenstance of the wrong time and place.