To me, that was one of the takeaways from this article - that you can by NICE, but still perceived to be rude, if the attention or interaction makes the other p

To me, that was one of the takeaways from this article - that you can by NICE, but still perceived to be rude, if the attention or interaction makes the other person feel uneasy or pressured or guilty. The end result is the same for the recipient, whether the message is delivered with a stick, or with a velvet glove. Not just talking passive/aggressive niceness either - simply being unaware if your interaction suits the current mood of the recipient can be interpreted as being rude too. It was a useful reflection point for me, and a powerful message in that essay.