6 ms·

I don't really understand why she would be considered rude for her comment to the sales assistant "No, I say. Actually, I don’t want to come out". Its a bit of

by clort 10y ago

I don't really understand why she would be considered rude for her comment to the sales assistant "No, I say. Actually, I don’t want to come out". Its a bit of a flat statement. Perhaps saying something that has a subtext ("Actually, you are pissing me off with your overattentive pushy sales technique") is being rude? In that type of case, I always think that it is difficult for both her, and the sales assistant because the person who set the situation up, the impersonal marketing manager at head office who insist that their front line staff act this way are the ones who are being rude and the people on location are both just acting their parts and if they are not comfortable with it there is nothing they can do at that time. The easiest thing they can do is to refuse to interact with that company (either not shopping there, or not working there) though that is not necessarily the most effective way to fix the problem, which is communicating with the person who has set the situation up. For the sales employee it could perhaps be keeping a log of customer interactions and return it to the management to show that this strategy is ineffective (it may not be!). For the customer, it could be writing to the customer service and suggesting that the reason they didn't buy anything was that the sales assistant was too pushy. In both cases though, I would worry that the management would simply blame the sales assistant for the lack of the sale.

cyberferret 10y ago
I think what the author was trying to get across with that particular story is that any message is dependent on how the recipient chooses to interpret it. I mean, the airport attendant probably thought they were being efficient and direct by barking orders to the crowd. The sales lady probably thought she was being attentive and useful. Under totally different circumstances (i.e. if the author visited the dress shop after getting a promotion etc.), the interaction could have been very different and they could have played off each other. In this case, the interaction fell flat because each party had different goals and objectives, as well as a different history getting up to that point. There are a million ways to interpret the "No, I don't want to come out" sentence. (1) She could be simply a rude customer (2) The customer may have had some body shaming issues that makes it difficult for them to show themselves half undressed to a stranger or, similarly (3) the customer may have religious or cultural issues around that, or occam's razor - (4) the customer simply did not like the sales person or the dress and didn't want to continue the engagement any further. And everything in between that. The salesperson chose to interpret it their own way. On a different day, she may have shrugged it off. On a particular difficult day, she may take it as a personal slight. Perhaps she felt that she had some sort of rapport with the customer based on her accepting the offer to try on the dress, and was personally hurt when it turned out not to be so?
dclowd9901 10y ago
It's not rude because the woman has taken nothing from the clerk. By stating it flatly, as you describe, there is no undermining of the clerk's position. Even IF the subtext is "you're pissing me off", she's still given both of them the benefit of ignorance so they can continue the facade. It's the clerk who chooses to be offended outwardly by it, rending herself even of her own dignity, for, what, maybe to try to make the shopper feel bad for saying something that _could be construed_ as subtextually rude? All she managed to do was give her power away for passive aggressiveness.

by clort 10y ago

cyberferret 10y ago

I think what the author was trying to get across with that particular story is that any message is dependent on how the recipient chooses to interpret it. I mean, the airport attendant probably thought they were being efficient and direct by barking orders to the crowd. The sales lady probably thought she was being attentive and useful. Under totally different circumstances (i.e. if the author visited the dress shop after getting a promotion etc.), the interaction could have been very different and they could have played off each other. In this case, the interaction fell flat because each party had different goals and objectives, as well as a different history getting up to that point. There are a million ways to interpret the "No, I don't want to come out" sentence. (1) She could be simply a rude customer (2) The customer may have had some body shaming issues that makes it difficult for them to show themselves half undressed to a stranger or, similarly (3) the customer may have religious or cultural issues around that, or occam's razor - (4) the customer simply did not like the sales person or the dress and didn't want to continue the engagement any further. And everything in between that. The salesperson chose to interpret it their own way. On a different day, she may have shrugged it off. On a particular difficult day, she may take it as a personal slight. Perhaps she felt that she had some sort of rapport with the customer based on her accepting the offer to try on the dress, and was personally hurt when it turned out not to be so?

dclowd9901 10y ago

It's not rude because the woman has taken nothing from the clerk. By stating it flatly, as you describe, there is no undermining of the clerk's position. Even IF the subtext is "you're pissing me off", she's still given both of them the benefit of ignorance so they can continue the facade. It's the clerk who chooses to be offended outwardly by it, rending herself even of her own dignity, for, what, maybe to try to make the shopper feel bad for saying something that _could be construed_ as subtextually rude? All she managed to do was give her power away for passive aggressiveness.