Besides, the author feeds us the fact that others have reacted poorly too her telling of those events, and leaves the reality of the events ambiguous, surely on

Besides, the author feeds us the fact that others have reacted poorly too her telling of those events, and leaves the reality of the events ambiguous, surely on purpose. The various anecdotes are examples of when she's done something wrong, more or less. It's right there in the text. One could take the story about the shop experience as a turning point--her behavior is still wrong, but she's beginning to understand how and why, and this is compared with the reaction of the person she tells it to, which is closer to how a (possibly very, very slightly) younger her might have taken it, one supposes. She's not claiming to have been right in these situations. The piece is about her journey to resolve to be more polite, rather than more correct.