The last of the astronauts stared back at a tiny spec in the sky, their old planet, J2EE. It was once a teeming garden world, but after replacing every species

The last of the astronauts stared back at a tiny spec in the sky, their old planet, J2EE. It was once a teeming garden world, but after replacing every species several times, the increasingly abstract creatures failed to thrive. Many wars were faught, poisoning the planet itself with leaky abstractions and broken factories. They knew many years ago, the planet was dying. The most enterprisey scientists of the world gathered in secret to build a colony ship, free from abstraction. A chance to start over and build a more functional place. And now on this new planet, they cast off the old ways of objects and threads, embracing monads and async promises for a better future. This time, the scientists reasoned, it would be better. And so they replaced their first species, the monoid.