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I consider myself, without doubt, to be an introvert. I hate parties with a passion, and am perfectly happy in my own head compared to even hanging out with a g

I consider myself, without doubt, to be an introvert. I hate parties with a passion, and am perfectly happy in my own head compared to even hanging out with a good friend. But I hated working at home. The isolation was terrible, not to mention the challenges of working on project teams (even with Slack etc). I felt lonely and less motivated. It is funny though, because my wife is the opposite of me on the social scale. She loves groups of people and social interaction. And yet she's fine working at home. Part of this I think is because she very much goes into her own world when working with how focused she becomes, so she doesn't even notice the isolation.

pawelwentpawel 9y ago
After working from home alone for about a week I start to feel less and less motivated too. For the couple past weeks I was working on my own project and to keep my energy levels up I rented a desk in a almost next door coworking space. It is definitely boosting my productivity and is great for networking too.
- douche 9y ago
  I feel exactly the opposite. Working an entire week at the office will have me so demoralized and burnt out by Friday that I have to go get away from everyone in the woods for the weekend. The most effective mix for me is going into the office on Monday, and getting all of the meetings and planning and face-to-face busywork out of the way, and then working from home the rest of the week. It's easily 2-3X as productive, and I'm just so much happier.
  - dota_fanatic 9y ago
    Agreed! That's an ideal kind of setup. Total conjecture but the people who I have seen struggle with WFH are the same people who don't have a social group outside of work, so WFH ends up meaning no social life and they become very lonely and isolated as a result. For people who do have that social group, they tend to want to get the work done as quickly and efficiently as possible so that they can then spend time with their family and friends, ie the people they want to be around, not the people they have to be around to make money for their employer => themselves. With family and friends you can talk about life and have fun. With coworkers, often you talk about work or things indirectly connected to work...
  - throw1233212323 9y ago
    I'm fine with a few friends (who I also interact with solely remotely as they live a few hundred miles from me), working remotely and just seeing my wife daily. I love it and have never been happier with a job or my living situation. As with anything. YMMV. I've never been an ambitious person though, and my job to me is just a 'do what is needed, and no more' type of thing. I'm never out there trying to network or dig up leads on new opportunities either though, so if I wanted to do those things or were more ambitious I guess I could see the appeal of going into the office. We (my wife and I) do get out quite a bit though, although we're eachother's best friend so we're not out socializing with out couples in our off time (thankfully).
  - davidjnelson 9y ago
    Amen. Silence is the ultimate nootropic.
wrigby 9y ago
I'm relatively extroverted, and I can relate to your experience really well after working from home for the last year. The isolation and lack of human interaction can be downright depressing, and I've been led productive than ever. I'm curious to know if people with families have a different experience with it than single people. I'm a single guy in my mid 20's, and I suspect that if I was married and had kids at home the experience would be more positive.
- delinhabit 9y ago
  I work from home a couple days a week, to avoid the fairly long commute to the office. I definitely think seeing my family around during the day is a big plus. I mostly start really early (around the same time I would normally go to take my bus), so I have a nice 10-15 minutes break with my kids, before they go to the daycare. My wife also just started a bakery and works from home mostly, so I have the opportunity to take small breaks during the day and spend some time with her. Last but not least, I am more productive and on average create more value when I work from home, just because I start my day doing what I like the most and commuting. Obviously, this is just an anecdote and everyone's case is different, but I think if you work from home and you're not alone, it shouldn't be as depressing and/or demotivating.
- mtberatwork 9y ago
  > I suspect that if I was married and had kids at home the experience would be more positive. Positive, yes. But it's hard to be productive with young kids in the house.
- dkarl 9y ago
  In my experience, it can be hard. For some people, it's easy to emotionally accept that you have to be gone at work all day but very hard to process the fact that you're right there and can't always instantly turn off and interact with them. Your family/SO needs to feel like you care about them, and you need to be able to settle comfortably into work without feeling like you're going to be interrupted constantly. It's a really knotty problem.
- dkarl 9y ago
  In my experience, it can be hard. For some people, it's easy to emotionally accept that you have to be gone at work all day but very hard to process the fact that you're right there and can't always instantly turn off and interact with them. Your family/SO needs to feel like you care about them, and you need to be able to settle comfortably into work without feeling like you're going to be interrupted constantly. It's a really knotty problem.
CydeWeys 9y ago
I'm with you in regards to how my mind responds to working from home (not well). Humans evolved as social animals. Everything we've always done has been in groups. When you are growing up, you spend most of your waking time in the company of other people (school). The ones who don't, who are homeschooled alone, turn out "weird". Until the modern advent of telecommunications, working has meant being physically collocated with other people. Spending most of your waking hours alone at home is an unusual thing to do; we're not adapted for it, and it's tough. 100% telecommuting doesn't work for a lot of people, maybe even the majority of people. It definitely doesn't work for me. Coworking spaces are one solution, but I only have a short commute anyway, so I'm just going to go into the real office.
- ekianjo 9y ago
  > Everything we've always done has been in groups erm no, there are numerous accounts of people living ar ermits or away from the groups in History. why do you assume everyone has to live with the herd ?
  - jerf 9y ago
    And they have always been considered weird, even when respected by their local culture, and to number very few. We have a word for such people. We do not actually have a word for people who are not hermits, because that's how normal it is. We have words for being excessively group focused, like "gregarious", but not for "not a hermit". Slightly less extreme, many cultures have had some sort of monk experience, where the monks do not live alone but often have some sort of highly restrictive vow of silence or something. It is certainly a thing in humanity that is popular enough to at times create social institutions for those who wish the rather different lifestyle, but it has also been a radical minority of people who choose it. What's my point? Is there anything wrong with those choices? No. The point is that trying to arrange a social order that tries to push the majority of people in that direction isn't going to succeed. I consider "everything is going to become telecommuting in the future" to be up there with "mobile games are going to completely destroy PC and console gaming". If it was going to happen, we should not still be speculating about it... it should be happening right now, visibly obviously, not something we have to go parse through trends and sort of squint at to see.
e40 9y ago
I found a great balance by working at home 1-2 days a week. I get shitloads of work done on the work at home days, and I get the socialize with coworkers on the at work days. For me, it's a good balance.
paulcole 9y ago
>I consider myself, without doubt, to be an introvert. I hate parties with a passion Those aren't necessarily connected in the way that many people like to assert with such conviction. Many introverts (like me!) love parties and hanging out with friends.
- RobertoG 9y ago
  serious question: what means to be an introvert then?
  - gerbilly 9y ago
    One definition I've heard is that introverts become fatigued when they have too much social interaction. Extraverts on the other hand get energized by social interaction. (Social interaction requires a lot of processing.) Why ? It may be related to an organism's baseline of arousal. The idea is that extraverts may have a lower baseline arousal rate, that they enjoy raising by interacting socially. Introverts have a high baseline level of arousal, which gets raised too far by too much social interaction. It is thought that extraverts are the majority making up 85% of the population, and introverts 15%. This would explain why open office plans are the norm. Ironically introverts often self select for work that requires deep focus, and end up having to do it in open plan offices designed by extraverts who see nothing wrong with that. This is a good book on the topic: https://www.amazon.ca/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352153 https://www.amazon.ca/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/d...
    - mLuby 9y ago
      Careful with the connection between extroverts and open offices. Not saying it's certainly wrong, but I'd say follow the money (they're usually cheaper) http://fortune.com/2015/03/18/pros-and-cons-open-office-floorplan/ http://fortune.com/2015/03/18/pros-and-cons-open-office-floo...
  - csa 9y ago
    A common plain-language definition of "introvert" used by professionals is that introverts "are more often energized from their quiet time than their social time"[1]. Extroverts are the opposite. Note that introversion and extroversion are on a continuum with most people in the general population (maybe not a specific population) being towards the middle. Three comments to address your question specifically: 1. Note the "more often" in the definition. It isn't "always". As such, sometimes introverts are energized by their social time. 2. Given the spectrum of extroversion and introversion, some folks may be less extreme and therefore exhibit less stereotypical behavior for their archetype. 3. Extreme introversion (or extroversion) is not perceived as being pathological until it "causes impairment in functioning and/or causes significant distress for the individual" [ibid]. This might be in the form of detachment that has some surface level similarities to being an extreme introvert, but is actually quite different. [1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/self-promotion-introverts/201206/apa-gains-sanity-introverts-not-nuts https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/self-promotion-introver...
Natsu 9y ago
I find the exact opposite. My WFH days are far more productive. I feel no need to go to the office at all, most of the people I work with are remote, anyhow. And for technical communication, I'd MUCH rather have everything in writing via email. No, I don't want to call someone on the phone and have them read logs at me. I want a copy of the damned log file so I can look up what's happening with each message and figure something out, not to listen to someone ramble on the phone.
- dhimes 9y ago
  Yeah. IM, email occasional phone works really well. What do you think of the web cam thing where people can see if you're at your desk? I've never tried it but the idea is a bit...uncomfortable... for me for some reason.
  - Natsu 9y ago
    I think I can answer that by pointing out that my camera has electrical tape over it. I've never seen any reason whatsoever to have video on my calls. I only care about what's on their computer screen.
michaelchisari 9y ago
I don't know if I'll ever work remotely again for a company that is out of town. I'm currently in an office regularly, so I can appreciate working from home, but I'll only do so if the office is in town. I don't mind getting in my car and going in when needed, but I don't like having to hop on a plane.
- remotehack 9y ago
  That's the situation I'm in now on my current contract. The down side is that, unlike the others who work remotely from other states; it's easy for them to ask me to work a problem that requires me to come on site. So that's sort of a down side. The people are nice though.
pwthornton 9y ago
There may be an interesting dichotomy here: Your wife might be very social. Perhaps working at home gives her a respite from all of that social interaction, helping her to focus more. Some people struggle to focus and deal with interruptions in office settings. You being an introvert may struggle to commute and form bonds remotely. You may feel like you read people better and connect better in person. Now imagine there was something here that applied to more people. What it would mean is that smart managers should look to give workers environments that maximize their work and personality styles.
usrusr 9y ago
Sounds about right to me. Introverts don't necessary hate being around people, just being not being very good at actively seeking interaction can be enough. For people who tend to not make much contact unless necessary, an office environment can be very valuable.

pawelwentpawel 9y ago

After working from home alone for about a week I start to feel less and less motivated too. For the couple past weeks I was working on my own project and to keep my energy levels up I rented a desk in a almost next door coworking space. It is definitely boosting my productivity and is great for networking too.

douche 9y ago
I feel exactly the opposite. Working an entire week at the office will have me so demoralized and burnt out by Friday that I have to go get away from everyone in the woods for the weekend. The most effective mix for me is going into the office on Monday, and getting all of the meetings and planning and face-to-face busywork out of the way, and then working from home the rest of the week. It's easily 2-3X as productive, and I'm just so much happier.
- dota_fanatic 9y ago
  Agreed! That's an ideal kind of setup. Total conjecture but the people who I have seen struggle with WFH are the same people who don't have a social group outside of work, so WFH ends up meaning no social life and they become very lonely and isolated as a result. For people who do have that social group, they tend to want to get the work done as quickly and efficiently as possible so that they can then spend time with their family and friends, ie the people they want to be around, not the people they have to be around to make money for their employer => themselves. With family and friends you can talk about life and have fun. With coworkers, often you talk about work or things indirectly connected to work...
- throw1233212323 9y ago
  I'm fine with a few friends (who I also interact with solely remotely as they live a few hundred miles from me), working remotely and just seeing my wife daily. I love it and have never been happier with a job or my living situation. As with anything. YMMV. I've never been an ambitious person though, and my job to me is just a 'do what is needed, and no more' type of thing. I'm never out there trying to network or dig up leads on new opportunities either though, so if I wanted to do those things or were more ambitious I guess I could see the appeal of going into the office. We (my wife and I) do get out quite a bit though, although we're eachother's best friend so we're not out socializing with out couples in our off time (thankfully).
- davidjnelson 9y ago
  Amen. Silence is the ultimate nootropic.

wrigby 9y ago

I'm relatively extroverted, and I can relate to your experience really well after working from home for the last year. The isolation and lack of human interaction can be downright depressing, and I've been led productive than ever. I'm curious to know if people with families have a different experience with it than single people. I'm a single guy in my mid 20's, and I suspect that if I was married and had kids at home the experience would be more positive.

delinhabit 9y ago
I work from home a couple days a week, to avoid the fairly long commute to the office. I definitely think seeing my family around during the day is a big plus. I mostly start really early (around the same time I would normally go to take my bus), so I have a nice 10-15 minutes break with my kids, before they go to the daycare. My wife also just started a bakery and works from home mostly, so I have the opportunity to take small breaks during the day and spend some time with her. Last but not least, I am more productive and on average create more value when I work from home, just because I start my day doing what I like the most and commuting. Obviously, this is just an anecdote and everyone's case is different, but I think if you work from home and you're not alone, it shouldn't be as depressing and/or demotivating.
mtberatwork 9y ago
> I suspect that if I was married and had kids at home the experience would be more positive. Positive, yes. But it's hard to be productive with young kids in the house.
dkarl 9y ago
In my experience, it can be hard. For some people, it's easy to emotionally accept that you have to be gone at work all day but very hard to process the fact that you're right there and can't always instantly turn off and interact with them. Your family/SO needs to feel like you care about them, and you need to be able to settle comfortably into work without feeling like you're going to be interrupted constantly. It's a really knotty problem.
dkarl 9y ago
In my experience, it can be hard. For some people, it's easy to emotionally accept that you have to be gone at work all day but very hard to process the fact that you're right there and can't always instantly turn off and interact with them. Your family/SO needs to feel like you care about them, and you need to be able to settle comfortably into work without feeling like you're going to be interrupted constantly. It's a really knotty problem.

CydeWeys 9y ago

I'm with you in regards to how my mind responds to working from home (not well). Humans evolved as social animals. Everything we've always done has been in groups. When you are growing up, you spend most of your waking time in the company of other people (school). The ones who don't, who are homeschooled alone, turn out "weird". Until the modern advent of telecommunications, working has meant being physically collocated with other people. Spending most of your waking hours alone at home is an unusual thing to do; we're not adapted for it, and it's tough. 100% telecommuting doesn't work for a lot of people, maybe even the majority of people. It definitely doesn't work for me. Coworking spaces are one solution, but I only have a short commute anyway, so I'm just going to go into the real office.

ekianjo 9y ago
> Everything we've always done has been in groups erm no, there are numerous accounts of people living ar ermits or away from the groups in History. why do you assume everyone has to live with the herd ?
- jerf 9y ago
  And they have always been considered weird, even when respected by their local culture, and to number very few. We have a word for such people. We do not actually have a word for people who are not hermits, because that's how normal it is. We have words for being excessively group focused, like "gregarious", but not for "not a hermit". Slightly less extreme, many cultures have had some sort of monk experience, where the monks do not live alone but often have some sort of highly restrictive vow of silence or something. It is certainly a thing in humanity that is popular enough to at times create social institutions for those who wish the rather different lifestyle, but it has also been a radical minority of people who choose it. What's my point? Is there anything wrong with those choices? No. The point is that trying to arrange a social order that tries to push the majority of people in that direction isn't going to succeed. I consider "everything is going to become telecommuting in the future" to be up there with "mobile games are going to completely destroy PC and console gaming". If it was going to happen, we should not still be speculating about it... it should be happening right now, visibly obviously, not something we have to go parse through trends and sort of squint at to see.

e40 9y ago

I found a great balance by working at home 1-2 days a week. I get shitloads of work done on the work at home days, and I get the socialize with coworkers on the at work days. For me, it's a good balance.

paulcole 9y ago

>I consider myself, without doubt, to be an introvert. I hate parties with a passion Those aren't necessarily connected in the way that many people like to assert with such conviction. Many introverts (like me!) love parties and hanging out with friends.

RobertoG 9y ago
serious question: what means to be an introvert then?
- gerbilly 9y ago
  One definition I've heard is that introverts become fatigued when they have too much social interaction. Extraverts on the other hand get energized by social interaction. (Social interaction requires a lot of processing.) Why ? It may be related to an organism's baseline of arousal. The idea is that extraverts may have a lower baseline arousal rate, that they enjoy raising by interacting socially. Introverts have a high baseline level of arousal, which gets raised too far by too much social interaction. It is thought that extraverts are the majority making up 85% of the population, and introverts 15%. This would explain why open office plans are the norm. Ironically introverts often self select for work that requires deep focus, and end up having to do it in open plan offices designed by extraverts who see nothing wrong with that. This is a good book on the topic: https://www.amazon.ca/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/dp/0307352153 https://www.amazon.ca/Quiet-Power-Introverts-World-Talking/d...
  - mLuby 9y ago
    Careful with the connection between extroverts and open offices. Not saying it's certainly wrong, but I'd say follow the money (they're usually cheaper) http://fortune.com/2015/03/18/pros-and-cons-open-office-floorplan/ http://fortune.com/2015/03/18/pros-and-cons-open-office-floo...
- csa 9y ago
  A common plain-language definition of "introvert" used by professionals is that introverts "are more often energized from their quiet time than their social time"[1]. Extroverts are the opposite. Note that introversion and extroversion are on a continuum with most people in the general population (maybe not a specific population) being towards the middle. Three comments to address your question specifically: 1. Note the "more often" in the definition. It isn't "always". As such, sometimes introverts are energized by their social time. 2. Given the spectrum of extroversion and introversion, some folks may be less extreme and therefore exhibit less stereotypical behavior for their archetype. 3. Extreme introversion (or extroversion) is not perceived as being pathological until it "causes impairment in functioning and/or causes significant distress for the individual" [ibid]. This might be in the form of detachment that has some surface level similarities to being an extreme introvert, but is actually quite different. [1] https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/self-promotion-introverts/201206/apa-gains-sanity-introverts-not-nuts https://www.psychologytoday.com/blog/self-promotion-introver...

Natsu 9y ago

I find the exact opposite. My WFH days are far more productive. I feel no need to go to the office at all, most of the people I work with are remote, anyhow. And for technical communication, I'd MUCH rather have everything in writing via email. No, I don't want to call someone on the phone and have them read logs at me. I want a copy of the damned log file so I can look up what's happening with each message and figure something out, not to listen to someone ramble on the phone.

dhimes 9y ago
Yeah. IM, email occasional phone works really well. What do you think of the web cam thing where people can see if you're at your desk? I've never tried it but the idea is a bit...uncomfortable... for me for some reason.
- Natsu 9y ago
  I think I can answer that by pointing out that my camera has electrical tape over it. I've never seen any reason whatsoever to have video on my calls. I only care about what's on their computer screen.

michaelchisari 9y ago

I don't know if I'll ever work remotely again for a company that is out of town. I'm currently in an office regularly, so I can appreciate working from home, but I'll only do so if the office is in town. I don't mind getting in my car and going in when needed, but I don't like having to hop on a plane.

remotehack 9y ago
That's the situation I'm in now on my current contract. The down side is that, unlike the others who work remotely from other states; it's easy for them to ask me to work a problem that requires me to come on site. So that's sort of a down side. The people are nice though.

pwthornton 9y ago

There may be an interesting dichotomy here: Your wife might be very social. Perhaps working at home gives her a respite from all of that social interaction, helping her to focus more. Some people struggle to focus and deal with interruptions in office settings. You being an introvert may struggle to commute and form bonds remotely. You may feel like you read people better and connect better in person. Now imagine there was something here that applied to more people. What it would mean is that smart managers should look to give workers environments that maximize their work and personality styles.

usrusr 9y ago

Sounds about right to me. Introverts don't necessary hate being around people, just being not being very good at actively seeking interaction can be enough. For people who tend to not make much contact unless necessary, an office environment can be very valuable.