3 ms·

Is this really all that different from when women would select partners largely based on whether they were "good providers"? Humans have been trading sex for f

Is this really all that different from when women would select partners largely based on whether they were "good providers"? Humans have been trading sex for food and shelter for thousands of years. It might be slightly more explicit now, but I don't see that any fundamental change has occurred.

deleted 10y ago
[deleted]
nvr219 10y ago
Yes it is different.
Mz 10y ago
I could argue both sides of this. I was a homemaker and full time mom for a lot of years. I am currently homeless. I have turned down multiple offers to move in with some guy or similar, in part due to my concerns about how that can lead to loss of agency and can lead to someone being trapped. I think the real issue is, as I have said twice elsewhere here, that housing prices are insane and this is fueling a general rise in homelessness. Things like that always impact the most vulnerable the worst. I am for the decriminalization of sex work. If I were not medically handicapped and if I thought I could make it work, I would seriously consider moving to Nevada and taking up sex work to pay off my debts and come up with a down payment for a house. I don't think that would work for me personally and I do understand why there is a great hue and cry about putting people in positions where they are de facto forced into sex work. I get why this is click bait, but it is hard to have a reasoned discussion about such subjects, for a lot of reasons.
- rabboRubble 10y ago
  Thank you for sharing details about your life. Sending positive thoughts in your direction. Good luck~
cjcenizal 10y ago
This article describes how some people's best survival option is to give control of their body to someone else. I think anyone with empathy would agree that's a bad thing.
- cperciva 10y ago
  I'm not saying that I endorse this; I'm just saying that it doesn't seem particularly novel. It seems to me that a double standard is being applied, with sex work being condemned more harshly simply because it is negotiated online. (Mind you, this is certainly not the only double standard; it seems absurd that sex work is condemned as women "selling their bodies" while working in coal mines is simply accepted as something men do.)
  - Mz 10y ago
    I think most people are going to assert that this is absolutely different from marrying a good provider because people want to imagine that most/almost all marriages are nice, loving arrangements where both people deeply and sincerely care about each other. This is not true and pointing that out makes most people incredibly uncomfortable. I am comfortable discussing that reality. But I tend to tread lightly because it tends to be a shit show to try to address that fact. YMMV
    - cperciva 10y ago
      That was part of my point -- we have a popular myth that marriages are all about love, but there's a significant element of practicality about them too... and there used to be far more. Heck, look at how long arranged marriages were widespread.
      - Mz 10y ago
        Let me put it this way, you are making one of those points that hits too uncomfortably close to home for most people to answer honestly and still maintain their own delusions about their own lives. So, you will likely be shouted down so that people can insist to themselves that they have True Love or something. I spent about 3.5 years of my life in therapy with two different ministers discussing the sexual abuse I had endured as a child. I have an incredibly thick skin when it comes to analyzing such things. Most other people find me pretty horrifying and I have largely given up on trying to have meaningful discussions about certain things in public because they tend to inspire lynch mobs. I think a marriage based on practical arrangements is often a better marriage than one based on some weird idea that we are madly in love. But, hey, I am some heretic, as already established. :-)
kawera 10y ago
Yes, it's different. One thing is the fragility of people on the verge of becoming or already homeless, another is people (mostly women) living with their families or alone but no immediate risk of been thrown in the streets.

deleted 10y ago

[deleted]

nvr219 10y ago

Yes it is different.

Mz 10y ago

I could argue both sides of this. I was a homemaker and full time mom for a lot of years. I am currently homeless. I have turned down multiple offers to move in with some guy or similar, in part due to my concerns about how that can lead to loss of agency and can lead to someone being trapped. I think the real issue is, as I have said twice elsewhere here, that housing prices are insane and this is fueling a general rise in homelessness. Things like that always impact the most vulnerable the worst. I am for the decriminalization of sex work. If I were not medically handicapped and if I thought I could make it work, I would seriously consider moving to Nevada and taking up sex work to pay off my debts and come up with a down payment for a house. I don't think that would work for me personally and I do understand why there is a great hue and cry about putting people in positions where they are de facto forced into sex work. I get why this is click bait, but it is hard to have a reasoned discussion about such subjects, for a lot of reasons.

rabboRubble 10y ago
Thank you for sharing details about your life. Sending positive thoughts in your direction. Good luck~

cjcenizal 10y ago

This article describes how some people's best survival option is to give control of their body to someone else. I think anyone with empathy would agree that's a bad thing.

cperciva 10y ago
I'm not saying that I endorse this; I'm just saying that it doesn't seem particularly novel. It seems to me that a double standard is being applied, with sex work being condemned more harshly simply because it is negotiated online. (Mind you, this is certainly not the only double standard; it seems absurd that sex work is condemned as women "selling their bodies" while working in coal mines is simply accepted as something men do.)
- Mz 10y ago
  I think most people are going to assert that this is absolutely different from marrying a good provider because people want to imagine that most/almost all marriages are nice, loving arrangements where both people deeply and sincerely care about each other. This is not true and pointing that out makes most people incredibly uncomfortable. I am comfortable discussing that reality. But I tend to tread lightly because it tends to be a shit show to try to address that fact. YMMV
  - cperciva 10y ago
    That was part of my point -- we have a popular myth that marriages are all about love, but there's a significant element of practicality about them too... and there used to be far more. Heck, look at how long arranged marriages were widespread.
    - Mz 10y ago
      Let me put it this way, you are making one of those points that hits too uncomfortably close to home for most people to answer honestly and still maintain their own delusions about their own lives. So, you will likely be shouted down so that people can insist to themselves that they have True Love or something. I spent about 3.5 years of my life in therapy with two different ministers discussing the sexual abuse I had endured as a child. I have an incredibly thick skin when it comes to analyzing such things. Most other people find me pretty horrifying and I have largely given up on trying to have meaningful discussions about certain things in public because they tend to inspire lynch mobs. I think a marriage based on practical arrangements is often a better marriage than one based on some weird idea that we are madly in love. But, hey, I am some heretic, as already established. :-)

kawera 10y ago

Yes, it's different. One thing is the fragility of people on the verge of becoming or already homeless, another is people (mostly women) living with their families or alone but no immediate risk of been thrown in the streets.