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The whole keep-public-and-private-life-separate principle can itself be problematic. That is, it's not always clear what that even means. If it's the same as "n

The whole keep-public-and-private-life-separate principle can itself be problematic. That is, it's not always clear what that even means. If it's the same as "never, ever do/say something offensive to current-day 'progressives'", then we have a problem. Speaking as a Christian, I actively seek to more deeply integrate my beliefs into every aspect of my existence: how I do my work and fulfill my responsibilities, how I speak to and treat others, i.e. many aspects of my behavior that resonate throughout my daily life regardless of temporal or physical context (at the office, at home, etc., during work, during play). At times, this means my words and actions clash with the "progressive" culture of the software development world; that can happen because someone puts me on the hot seat, or because I choose to speak/act, according to my beliefs, in response to some evil that cannot be ignored. I do pro-life/anti-abortion volunteer work in my area — I don't wear it on my sleeve, but sometimes people ask, or maybe they've seen me out and about, so engaged. I have tech peers who've told me they find such activity heinous. I go to a church where most of the women in attendance (voluntarily) veil their heads during the liturgy — personal photos related to my liturgical life (an important part of every week/year, so media ends up quasi/publicly accessible via the usual social platforms) have... raised eyebrows among the same peers. Who I am, what I believe — I categorically refuse to put a wall around those things so that "offensive" life-content doesn't leak into my professional sphere. At the same time, I don't actively seek to offend my tech peers and if I do get into a disagreement with someone, I strive to be patient, respectful, and caring. I have friends in tech who share much in common with all the above, but are more guarded (even fearful — that's really the thing) about insulating their traditional Christian lifestyles from their professional peers and employers. I certainly don't intend to out them, and I understand their fears, but that way feels duplicitous to me, and it's not a path I'll take.

simias 10y ago
I'm not saying that you should hide yourself for being christian. I wouldn't have any problem working with somebody having religious themed personal items on their desk. That's your private space as far as I'm concerned. I've worked with a catholic guy who told me he prostested the same-sex marriage law in france. I completely disagree with his position but we just stopped the discussion at this point and we kept working together just fine. I would do the same if we worked together, probably. Now if you kept bringing it up or even wear anti-abortion shirts or stuff like that then yeah, I might ask you to tone it down. But other than that it's really not my problem. The key element is respect I think. I respect you, you respect me and everybody's a happy bunny.
- michaelsbradley 10y ago
  > The key element is respect I think. I respect you, you respect me and everybody's a happy bunny. You sound quite reasonable, and I think you're right. :-) Other folks I've encountered are... not so reasonable.
- rsyring 10y ago
  > or even wear anti-abortion shirts or stuff like that then yeah, I might ask you to tone it down. If someone wore a t-shirt in support of the LGBTQ+ life style, would you ask them to "tone it down"?
  - simias 10y ago
    Maybe? What would it look like? In general I find that it's harder to be offensive when you position yourself for something rather than against something. On paper an anti-religious shirt sounds more offensive than a pro-LGBTQ+ one, for instance. Both sound hardly appropriate for work though.
  - josephlord 10y ago
    One is about telling other people how they should behave and possibly making them uncomfortable it they have had an abortion, the other is acknowledging the existence of people and their freedom to be who they are. This is a pretty fundamental difference isn't it? No one is out wearing t-shirts telling other people that they should be queer are they? And I'm assuming your use of the phrase "the LGBTQ+ life style" was a slip not an intentional denial of the many different lifestyles LGBTQ people have and that being L, G, B, T or Q is for most not a lifestyle but fundamental component of their person.

simias 10y ago

I'm not saying that you should hide yourself for being christian. I wouldn't have any problem working with somebody having religious themed personal items on their desk. That's your private space as far as I'm concerned. I've worked with a catholic guy who told me he prostested the same-sex marriage law in france. I completely disagree with his position but we just stopped the discussion at this point and we kept working together just fine. I would do the same if we worked together, probably. Now if you kept bringing it up or even wear anti-abortion shirts or stuff like that then yeah, I might ask you to tone it down. But other than that it's really not my problem. The key element is respect I think. I respect you, you respect me and everybody's a happy bunny.

michaelsbradley 10y ago
> The key element is respect I think. I respect you, you respect me and everybody's a happy bunny. You sound quite reasonable, and I think you're right. :-) Other folks I've encountered are... not so reasonable.
rsyring 10y ago
> or even wear anti-abortion shirts or stuff like that then yeah, I might ask you to tone it down. If someone wore a t-shirt in support of the LGBTQ+ life style, would you ask them to "tone it down"?
- simias 10y ago
  Maybe? What would it look like? In general I find that it's harder to be offensive when you position yourself for something rather than against something. On paper an anti-religious shirt sounds more offensive than a pro-LGBTQ+ one, for instance. Both sound hardly appropriate for work though.
- josephlord 10y ago
  One is about telling other people how they should behave and possibly making them uncomfortable it they have had an abortion, the other is acknowledging the existence of people and their freedom to be who they are. This is a pretty fundamental difference isn't it? No one is out wearing t-shirts telling other people that they should be queer are they? And I'm assuming your use of the phrase "the LGBTQ+ life style" was a slip not an intentional denial of the many different lifestyles LGBTQ people have and that being L, G, B, T or Q is for most not a lifestyle but fundamental component of their person.