I daydream of torturing someone after the fashion of Amelie, but I've been cursed with undeserving acquaintances. There are never any really nasty people around

I daydream of torturing someone after the fashion of Amelie, but I've been cursed with undeserving acquaintances. There are never any really nasty people around when you need them; they're always off somewhere else waving flags or inventing euphemisms for new holocausts. Who wouldn't love to put Preperation H into the toothpaste tubes of the BP PR folk? Or just to downgrade them stealthily and somehow irrevocably to IE 6? This post has whet my appetite again, but does not do justice to the sublimity of Amelie's revenge, which depends on changing things that, unlike IE 6, have always worked perfectly without your thinking about it to things that suddenly don't quite work right, or the same way. The intensity of the torture varies as the reliability of the thing changed and inversely as the explicability of the change itself. But it also needs to be justified.