4 ms·

Supplementary factor: growing up hearing that 50% of marriages will fail and then seeing what a bad divorce does to everyone involved. As a man, I've heard eno

by tenpies 10y ago

Supplementary factor: growing up hearing that 50% of marriages will fail and then seeing what a bad divorce does to everyone involved. As a man, I've heard enough horror stories to never want to marry.

devoply 10y ago
In the recent come back tour a comedian, Dave Chapelle, said marriage is a bad contract that you should never sign. He's right. Marriage in the US is an extremely shitty deal from the perspective of finance and business.
- pmiller2 10y ago
  We should also note that Dave Chappelle has been married for over 15 years.
  - jcslzr 10y ago
    yes but for his own dialogues, he is kind of in an open marriage, so it is much easier (I mean the guy talks about going to the club, and trying to get other women) I dont know many married man at the club chasing women and their wifes being ok with it. I am not saying its wrong, just saying a marriage like that does not seem really difficult to last 15 years.
- khedoros1 10y ago
  From the perspective of finance and business, there are a lot of things that I do that are extremely shitty deals. Most things that I do aren't done because they're profitable or career-advancing, though.
soulnothing 10y ago
I just got out a 1 year relationship. Even that cost alot to clear up, just having them move in. Clearing that up was very difficult. Something I think with caution now.
spydum 10y ago
Wasn't that fact debunked (oh look fake news from the 80s! Nothing new under the sun I guess)? Though your point still stands- the attack on marriage was successful I suppose.
- pseudalopex 10y ago
  US divorce rates have declined since the 1980s. Depending on how you look at the numbers, 50% is still a reasonable estimate.[1] Researchers attribute the decline in divorces partly to people being more cautious about marriage. [1] https://familyinequality.wordpress.com/2016/06/08/life-table-says-divorce-rate-is-52-7/ https://familyinequality.wordpress.com/2016/06/08/life-table...
- _archon_ 10y ago
  Looking at it historically[1], it would appear that marriage rates have been declining steadily since the '80s, as have the subsequent divorces. It would appear that the baby boomer generation didn't pass on the desire to marry that they inherited. They also didn't pass on legal racism, having enough money to buy something before you buy it, leaded fuel, and a world without space travel or widespread nuclear proliferation among wealthy countries. >the attack on marriage was successful I suppose. I propose that things like marriage cannot be attacked; marriage is a choice between people. It is a covenant, and its meaning is unique between any couple. The children of boomers aren't reacting to someone slandering the idea of such a covenant, we're reacting to seeing what our parents did with such covenants. Caution is merited. [1]: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/06/23/144-years-of-marriage-and-divorce-in-the-united-states-in-one-chart/ https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/06/23/144-y...
throwitaway4321 10y ago
Growing up in the wrong 50% of families certainly doesn't help either. Watching my parents' resentment towards each other gradually build up over the years, eventually resulting in a messy divorce, is definitely not an experience I'd want to put any kid through, much less my own. Even the thought of ending up in a marriage like that terrifies me to no end, to the point that I'd much rather to just never marry and never have kids than to risk following my parents' footsteps. Luckily enough, I have a great job, and some great friends to keep me company when I need it, so I'm certainly in no rush to take a gamble with the rest of my life any time soon.

by tenpies 10y ago

devoply 10y ago

In the recent come back tour a comedian, Dave Chapelle, said marriage is a bad contract that you should never sign. He's right. Marriage in the US is an extremely shitty deal from the perspective of finance and business.

pmiller2 10y ago
We should also note that Dave Chappelle has been married for over 15 years.
- jcslzr 10y ago
  yes but for his own dialogues, he is kind of in an open marriage, so it is much easier (I mean the guy talks about going to the club, and trying to get other women) I dont know many married man at the club chasing women and their wifes being ok with it. I am not saying its wrong, just saying a marriage like that does not seem really difficult to last 15 years.
khedoros1 10y ago
From the perspective of finance and business, there are a lot of things that I do that are extremely shitty deals. Most things that I do aren't done because they're profitable or career-advancing, though.

soulnothing 10y ago

I just got out a 1 year relationship. Even that cost alot to clear up, just having them move in. Clearing that up was very difficult. Something I think with caution now.

spydum 10y ago

Wasn't that fact debunked (oh look fake news from the 80s! Nothing new under the sun I guess)? Though your point still stands- the attack on marriage was successful I suppose.

pseudalopex 10y ago
US divorce rates have declined since the 1980s. Depending on how you look at the numbers, 50% is still a reasonable estimate.[1] Researchers attribute the decline in divorces partly to people being more cautious about marriage. [1] https://familyinequality.wordpress.com/2016/06/08/life-table-says-divorce-rate-is-52-7/ https://familyinequality.wordpress.com/2016/06/08/life-table...
_archon_ 10y ago
Looking at it historically[1], it would appear that marriage rates have been declining steadily since the '80s, as have the subsequent divorces. It would appear that the baby boomer generation didn't pass on the desire to marry that they inherited. They also didn't pass on legal racism, having enough money to buy something before you buy it, leaded fuel, and a world without space travel or widespread nuclear proliferation among wealthy countries. >the attack on marriage was successful I suppose. I propose that things like marriage cannot be attacked; marriage is a choice between people. It is a covenant, and its meaning is unique between any couple. The children of boomers aren't reacting to someone slandering the idea of such a covenant, we're reacting to seeing what our parents did with such covenants. Caution is merited. [1]: https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/06/23/144-years-of-marriage-and-divorce-in-the-united-states-in-one-chart/ https://www.washingtonpost.com/news/wonk/wp/2015/06/23/144-y...

throwitaway4321 10y ago

Growing up in the wrong 50% of families certainly doesn't help either. Watching my parents' resentment towards each other gradually build up over the years, eventually resulting in a messy divorce, is definitely not an experience I'd want to put any kid through, much less my own. Even the thought of ending up in a marriage like that terrifies me to no end, to the point that I'd much rather to just never marry and never have kids than to risk following my parents' footsteps. Luckily enough, I have a great job, and some great friends to keep me company when I need it, so I'm certainly in no rush to take a gamble with the rest of my life any time soon.