4 ms·
Wow. This is by far my most highly rated post on hacker news. I want to clarify that this is utter bullshit, and that I don't actually do this. Well, most of t
by ianamartin 10y ago
Wow. This is by far my most highly rated post on hacker news.
I want to clarify that this is utter bullshit, and that I don't actually do this. Well, most of this. I have easier ways of working from home. Like, I put an event on my boss's calendar that says I'm working from home.
And I hate umbrellas. I fucking hate them. If you live in New York City and you use an umbrella, I want you to go home and die right now.
You have no idea of the space that you are taking up with those things. You have no respect for your fellow humans. I hate you. And I don't want to live in this world with you.
Get a little wet. Don't stab me in the eyeball with your stupid, incompetent umbrella that you aren't paying attention to.
I have a little note next to my door that says: don't take the umbrella--It's a jackass thing to do.
Guess what happens. I never take the umbrella. The tomatoes thing was a joke, for those of you who missed it.
- IIAOPSW 10y agoWow. An umbrella fundamentalist. Is there a law of the internet that for every trivial thing you can find someone with absurdly strong opinions leaving comments about it?
- Groxx 10y ago>Is there a law of the internet that for every trivial thing you can find someone with absurdly strong opinions leaving comments about it? There has to be, it's one of the few constants of the internet. That said: you merely have to experience umbrellas in a high-density environment a couple times before those opinions are the only rational response. Umbrellas are hostile to everyone within reach. (corollary: whenever that number remains at zero, they're perfectly fine)
- PSeitz 10y agoBut it does work in Tokyo, maybe it's the people
- ianamartin 10y agoI'm specifically talking about NYC. It's definitely the people.
- ianamartin 10y agoYou have no idea how much umbrellas suck on NYC sidewalks. You literally have no clue. They are awful.
- thinnerlizzy 10y agoGolf umbrellas suck. Smaller umbrellas are no more a nuisance than than circumventing slow walking tourists on the street.
- ianamartin 10y agodeleted as dupe. not sure what hn is doing here.
- CalRobert 10y agoIt's something quite a few people have opinions on; usually in rainy cities with crowded sidewalks. I see very few people using umbrellas in central Dublin, for what it's worth. Most annoying are the tourists who seem to think that it's raining just because it's cloudy, and open their gigantic umbrellas in response.
- ianamartin 10y agoUmbrellamentalist is obviously the most correct word for this. Walk around Brooklyn on a rainy day. You'll be on my side before you know it.
- Wildgoose 10y agoPreach it brother! I am 6'5" tall (1.95m) and the number of little old ladies who think nothing of waving their sharp metal umbrella spokes at my eyes and face is untrue.
- corobo 10y agoThat's some strong thoughts on umbrellas. I like to think of them as a physical indicator of personal space, if you're getting poked in the eye maybe don't get all up in peoples' business so much, respect your fellow humans - But then again I don't live in a city.
- davesag 10y agoI am so with you regarding umbrellas. I also fucking hate them. Nasty, useless, eye-stabby, bastard things.
- winteriscoming 10y agoReminds me of a Shark Tank episode I saw about "Nubrella"[1] [1] www.nubrella.com