I think you're confusing two very different kinds of personal appeal, and this can be seen most in the way that attractive people are often allowed to talk, but

I think you're confusing two very different kinds of personal appeal, and this can be seen most in the way that attractive people are often allowed to talk, but aren't required to listen. On a separate note, I'd warn people (as someone to whom people have always freely talked) it can be a bad thing! You might not see this, and I understand that a lot of people here struggle socially, but it can be terrible to be a "go-to" person. If it's your friends and family, it's a good thing most of the time, but how about in a large or casual group? The old, the infirm, the lonely... they're the first to realize that I'll be polite, listen, and engage. Sometimes they latch on, and it can be exceedingly difficult to shake them off without hurting them. Then, the crazy people and the broken people sense compassion and an ear, and they come running. To paraphrase a comedian's description of cleavage, being someone that people love to talk to does not discriminate. Sure, you attract the people you want to attract, but you attract EVERYONE ELSE too. It can be exhausting...