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There's this joke on Arrested Development where Lucille Bluthe complains there's (paraphrasing) no manual on raising children. They then cut to an Amazon search

by dcw303 10y ago

There's this joke on Arrested Development where Lucille Bluthe complains there's (paraphrasing) no manual on raising children. They then cut to an Amazon search revealing hundreds of search results for books on "Raising Children". While this is excellent snark and a great witty rejoinder to internet arguments, there is something underlying which I think is useful: Figuring it out yourself is commendable, but no-one's going to mind if you look for some expert advice from time to time.

jnpatel 10y ago
Here's the clip! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EErpYvOdRf4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EErpYvOdRf4
angry-hacker 10y ago
But then again who is an expert in raising children? The problem is what works with some children doesn't work with others. Heck, even some children from horrible families become smart and good citizens of the world. The problem with raising children is no one really knows why! First hand experience.
- ido 10y ago
  Yeah, there are a lot of books & experts but they're likely not going to be able to give you the actual answers you need for your particular situation.
- basseq 10y ago
  There are a lot of experts in raising children. No one is an expert in your child, particularly when combined with your priorities, morals, family history, etc. If anything, it's a curation challenge: given the excess of good advice, books, experts, friends, parents, intuition, etc.—you have to wade through all that to find something that works for you and gets the results you want.
sametmax 10y ago
None of those are manual for the real thing. They just cover the easy parts. It won't help you when exhausted, you have to get up at 3 in the morning, trip, brake a glass, open your hand and bleed on the last batch of milk. It won't help you to react to the effect of society on your child's language, choices and behavior. It won't help you with the feeling you get when you get mad and slap the child and instantly regret it. And even for the things they talk about, RTFM doesn't make you not an imposter. Unless you practice it, theoretical knowledge has limited value. You stop being an imposter after you had your children and are satisfied with the result. And of course, there is no official manual, only hundred of ones contradicting each others, written by people whom expertise you can't easily assess yourself. On a topic that doesn't really have a clear way of demonstrating truth.
- majewsky 10y ago
  Reminds me of that saying: "Fake it until you make it."
accountface 10y ago
IMO part of figuring it out for yourself is a little research (which can be as basic as simple observation). Then you decide what to keep or trash as part of "yourselfing" it.

by dcw303 10y ago

jnpatel 10y ago

Here's the clip! https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EErpYvOdRf4 https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EErpYvOdRf4

angry-hacker 10y ago

But then again who is an expert in raising children? The problem is what works with some children doesn't work with others. Heck, even some children from horrible families become smart and good citizens of the world. The problem with raising children is no one really knows why! First hand experience.

ido 10y ago
Yeah, there are a lot of books & experts but they're likely not going to be able to give you the actual answers you need for your particular situation.
basseq 10y ago
There are a lot of experts in raising children. No one is an expert in your child, particularly when combined with your priorities, morals, family history, etc. If anything, it's a curation challenge: given the excess of good advice, books, experts, friends, parents, intuition, etc.—you have to wade through all that to find something that works for you and gets the results you want.

sametmax 10y ago

None of those are manual for the real thing. They just cover the easy parts. It won't help you when exhausted, you have to get up at 3 in the morning, trip, brake a glass, open your hand and bleed on the last batch of milk. It won't help you to react to the effect of society on your child's language, choices and behavior. It won't help you with the feeling you get when you get mad and slap the child and instantly regret it. And even for the things they talk about, RTFM doesn't make you not an imposter. Unless you practice it, theoretical knowledge has limited value. You stop being an imposter after you had your children and are satisfied with the result. And of course, there is no official manual, only hundred of ones contradicting each others, written by people whom expertise you can't easily assess yourself. On a topic that doesn't really have a clear way of demonstrating truth.

majewsky 10y ago
Reminds me of that saying: "Fake it until you make it."

accountface 10y ago

IMO part of figuring it out for yourself is a little research (which can be as basic as simple observation). Then you decide what to keep or trash as part of "yourselfing" it.