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I've been the recipient of active listening on more than one occasion and it's made me want to tear that persons lungs out through their mouth. It feels like yo

I've been the recipient of active listening on more than one occasion and it's made me want to tear that persons lungs out through their mouth. It feels like you're the victim of a corrupt bureaucrat's evil stalling tactic.

meesterdude 10y ago
Then they're doing it wrong - which is not uncommon. When I learned about active listening, there where a number of adults i remembered growing up who actively listened, and they were the most engaging people.
- AndrewOMartin 10y ago
  It sounds like you're saying then they're doing it wrong - which is not uncommon. When you learned about active listening, there where a number of adults you remembered growing up who actively listened, and they were the most engaging people.
bigchewy 10y ago
you were the recipient of people that were terrible and/or just new at active listening. If it's done right, you just feel like you are enjoying the conversation. no different than writing code, playing the piano etc. related, some people are just genuinely interested in other people; that's also not noticeable.
Kiro 10y ago
Care to elaborate? What exactly did the person do wrong? Seems like a very strange thing to be upset about.
afpx 10y ago
For me, 9 times out of 10, I'm genuinely interested in the other person, and I like to ask questions and actually listen to what they're saying. I find people, even those that some would classify as boring, to be fascinating. Actually, I find that the 'boring' ones can be extra interesting because they usually have some very unusual interests. For example, I recently met a person who was obsessed with the TV show 'Friends' and spent many hours re-watching episodes. To me, in a world that seems to be becoming increasingly homogenous, it was fascinating. And, even though I'd only seen a few episodes of the show, it was enough for me to latch on and indulge in the pleasure that this person felt about it. Unfortunately, as time has gone on, I've also sort of lost my interest in many people. Although I can relate to many of their interests and ideas, I have met so many hikers / bikers / runners, cooks / bakers / beer-brewers, foodies, musicians, travelers, photographers, aspiring entrepreneurs lately that I have had a hard time motivating myself to dig any deeper. Anyway, to your point, I think feigning interest in someone is awful and insincere. And, I refuse to do it. But, if I open myself to actually empathize with them and to indulge in what they're saying, it is very satisfying. Hopefully, I come across as sincere to those people to whom I inquire, because it's genuine curiosity. But, as 'hacking' seems to have gone mainstream, I certainly have seen my share of social pickup artists, and it is irritating.

meesterdude 10y ago

Then they're doing it wrong - which is not uncommon. When I learned about active listening, there where a number of adults i remembered growing up who actively listened, and they were the most engaging people.

AndrewOMartin 10y ago
It sounds like you're saying then they're doing it wrong - which is not uncommon. When you learned about active listening, there where a number of adults you remembered growing up who actively listened, and they were the most engaging people.

bigchewy 10y ago

you were the recipient of people that were terrible and/or just new at active listening. If it's done right, you just feel like you are enjoying the conversation. no different than writing code, playing the piano etc. related, some people are just genuinely interested in other people; that's also not noticeable.

Kiro 10y ago

Care to elaborate? What exactly did the person do wrong? Seems like a very strange thing to be upset about.

afpx 10y ago

For me, 9 times out of 10, I'm genuinely interested in the other person, and I like to ask questions and actually listen to what they're saying. I find people, even those that some would classify as boring, to be fascinating. Actually, I find that the 'boring' ones can be extra interesting because they usually have some very unusual interests. For example, I recently met a person who was obsessed with the TV show 'Friends' and spent many hours re-watching episodes. To me, in a world that seems to be becoming increasingly homogenous, it was fascinating. And, even though I'd only seen a few episodes of the show, it was enough for me to latch on and indulge in the pleasure that this person felt about it. Unfortunately, as time has gone on, I've also sort of lost my interest in many people. Although I can relate to many of their interests and ideas, I have met so many hikers / bikers / runners, cooks / bakers / beer-brewers, foodies, musicians, travelers, photographers, aspiring entrepreneurs lately that I have had a hard time motivating myself to dig any deeper. Anyway, to your point, I think feigning interest in someone is awful and insincere. And, I refuse to do it. But, if I open myself to actually empathize with them and to indulge in what they're saying, it is very satisfying. Hopefully, I come across as sincere to those people to whom I inquire, because it's genuine curiosity. But, as 'hacking' seems to have gone mainstream, I certainly have seen my share of social pickup artists, and it is irritating.