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I learned a while ago that just asking questions isn't enough - sometimes people don't want to talk, or are really boring, there's too big a group to focus on o
by non_sequitur 10y ago
I learned a while ago that just asking questions isn't enough - sometimes people don't want to talk, or are really boring, there's too big a group to focus on one person, or just constantly interrogating a person gets weird, etc. So you should have some good stories in your back pocket as well. If you think about the most popular people you know, they aren't well received in social settings because they pepper everyone with questions - they're usually funny, chatty, quick witted, and can either carry or let someone else carry a conversation. Be like that guy/gal, not the one that can only ask questions.
- snarf21 10y agoI think the hardest part is finding the topic that they are interested. Most people will ramble on about their greatest interest forever. You can't start with "How's work?" or "Watch anything good on Netflix lately?". You have to move into something else like "What have you been doing in your free time?" and then follow up on that. Odds are that they will lead you right to their greatest interest almost immediately. I think questions only has to be clarified with positive reinforcement. If they say they like X, your question needs to validate them too. "I'm not familiar with X but that sounds really interesting. What is the coolest thing about X to you?"