How much of it would be devastating if (1) your closest friends and/or family members found out? (2) more distant acquaintances found out? And how likely is it

How much of it would be devastating if (1) your closest friends and/or family members found out? (2) more distant acquaintances found out? And how likely is it that each of those would happen under a data breach? (Since presumably most people don't go looking inside illegal data dumps trying to find out the most intimate secrets about their friends' or family members' life for no good reason.)