Oh, yea, I don't game anymore I should have mentioned. That is done. I am only doing positive things now. I'm not even sure what I want to do or what I can d

Oh, yea, I don't game anymore I should have mentioned. That is done. I am only doing positive things now. I'm not even sure what I want to do or what I can do well. I know I'm good at pattern recognition and reading other people. My math skills aren't super strong, but I think I could change that. My english/writing potential is very high, but I haven't spent enough time writing to be skilled. I don't know if I would like it. I think I need to force myself to experiment for short periods of time like the scientific method and evaluate after, not during. I think part of my problem is that I've never learned to work for the sake of work itself. Everything in my life has always been to prove that I am 'good enough', to prove against feelings of unworthiness that pervade me, to beat the other person. But when it comes to beating myself, I suppose I have never given myself enough respect to attempt that. And it's unfortunate because that's the only worthwhile endeavor.