The only reason I want to learn about modern Javascript development is to learn how I can replace it all with a small shell script. I assume it's all basically

The only reason I want to learn about modern Javascript development is to learn how I can replace it all with a small shell script. I assume it's all basically a new, more complicated incarnation of PHP that can run in that horrifying bloated ubiquitous user interface from hell that everyone is addicted to. (Get off my lawn!)