It's always good to ask why something is a problem and whose problem it is. In this case, many people are saying "{x} is a problem and I want to help". That's

It's always good to ask why something is a problem and whose problem it is. In this case, many people are saying "{x} is a problem and I want to help". That's okay, if it stops there. However, many then conclude "people with {x} are obligated to make my help as inexpensive/effective/etc as possible". That's incorrect. The folks with {x} are not obligated to do what the helpers deem appropriate. The helpers are free to refuse to help if the helped don't cooperate, but that's the extent of the helper's power.