You mentioned you have a kid and no job. So, you might also worry about the future of your family -- unless you're super rich. I think that makes a big differen

You mentioned you have a kid and no job. So, you might also worry about the future of your family -- unless you're super rich. I think that makes a big difference. When I was 20 I had the great privilege that I simply didn't care much about my future most of the time. I was able to concentrate fully on what I was doing. Now, I have to handle all sorts of minor problems that occupy some space in my consciousness. I have to allocate time for learning new stuff in advance instead of just doing it when I feel like it and when I'm best at it.