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This is exactly why I brought it up. When compensating (in real life) for a language mismatch, there's no tool that can beat empathy. Try and think yourself in

This is exactly why I brought it up. When compensating (in real life) for a language mismatch, there's no tool that can beat empathy. Try and think yourself in their shoes, and try to understand where they're going with their words, motions, etc. We should teach kids more about this. It's a vastly underrated skill. Instead, we teach them to attach negative feelings to words. Which is the opposite. When I say I feel like a fucking sandwich, it's not used as a swear word but as a modern equivalent of "verily". If you had used empathy, you'd understood. Instead, you choose to go by your own set of interpretations, which means you take it to say something heinous. It's one of the things that set us apart from machines. We have the capacity to choose to interpret stuff however we want.

wolfgke 10y ago
> When compensating (in real life) for a language mismatch, there's no tool that can beat empathy. Try and think yourself in their shoes, and try to understand where they're going with their words, motions, etc. When I think myself in other people's shoes, I rather tend to refuse the points the other person makes much more (up to hate for the other side). Why this? The reason is that if I try to empathize, I immediately see and feel why (if you consider the values and feelings the other person has as mathematical axioms) the argument/actions the other person does makes no logical sense. The problem is that most people behave very stupidly (in sense of applying logic with respect to their values). The only thing that I can do in this situation is being brutally honest about the logical fallacy that I have detected. The sooner the other side realizes this, the better.
- richforrester 10y ago
  Empathy is the ability to feel what others feel. If you feel hate, and they don't, then you're not doing it right.
  - wolfgke 10y ago
    I feel what other people feel. And I conclude that if they would do this_and_this, this would obviously solve their problem.
    - forgottenpass 10y ago
      Empathy is highly related with the big 5 personality trait Agreeableness, but is not itself agreement. It is not a failure of empathy to come to understand someone's perspective, and then disagree with that perspective (regardless of what internet busybodies want you to believe). Depending on how high in Conscientiousness (another big 5 trait) someone is, they might have action-oriented or planning-based conclusions after empathizing with someone. It might seem cold, calculating and "not empathizing" to someone higher in agreeableness.

wolfgke 10y ago

> When compensating (in real life) for a language mismatch, there's no tool that can beat empathy. Try and think yourself in their shoes, and try to understand where they're going with their words, motions, etc. When I think myself in other people's shoes, I rather tend to refuse the points the other person makes much more (up to hate for the other side). Why this? The reason is that if I try to empathize, I immediately see and feel why (if you consider the values and feelings the other person has as mathematical axioms) the argument/actions the other person does makes no logical sense. The problem is that most people behave very stupidly (in sense of applying logic with respect to their values). The only thing that I can do in this situation is being brutally honest about the logical fallacy that I have detected. The sooner the other side realizes this, the better.

richforrester 10y ago
Empathy is the ability to feel what others feel. If you feel hate, and they don't, then you're not doing it right.
- wolfgke 10y ago
  I feel what other people feel. And I conclude that if they would do this_and_this, this would obviously solve their problem.
  - forgottenpass 10y ago
    Empathy is highly related with the big 5 personality trait Agreeableness, but is not itself agreement. It is not a failure of empathy to come to understand someone's perspective, and then disagree with that perspective (regardless of what internet busybodies want you to believe). Depending on how high in Conscientiousness (another big 5 trait) someone is, they might have action-oriented or planning-based conclusions after empathizing with someone. It might seem cold, calculating and "not empathizing" to someone higher in agreeableness.