I liked this Bill Cosby line: I asked my friend, "Why do you do cocaine?" And he said, "Well, it intensifies your personality." And I said, "Well yes, bu

I liked this Bill Cosby line: I asked my friend, "Why do you do cocaine?" And he said, "Well, it intensifies your personality." And I said, "Well yes, but what if you're an asshole?" I didn't used to be myself, and I was unhappy. Then I decided, after being told to be myself, to be myself. I started doing whatever I felt like doing, and being true to myself, and I started being happier. But it turns out I was an asshole. So I decided not to be an asshole. This also meant changing my life, and getting new friends. I'm only a little bit of an asshole now, but i'm a lot happier. > Instead of searching for our inner selves and then making a concerted effort to express them, Trilling urged us to start with our outer selves. Pay attention to how we present ourselves to others, and then strive to be the people we claim to be. You can take this a couple of ways: "Fake it til you make it" is one interpretation, and "Be so fake that you become real" is another. The argument is that whatever ideal you're trying to pretend to associate with yourself, you should go all-in. But this is horrible advice, too. What they're suggesting is that, rather than meditate on the reasons for the obvious difference between what you're trying to reflect outwards and how you are inside, just go ahead and become that person without thinking about why. Part of my becoming "myself 2.0" meant analyzing why I did things, and why I felt bad about some thoughts or actions, and good about others. As I developed more compassion for the people in my life and the way I affected them, my value system changed. I decided I didn't want to do certain things anymore, but I did want to do other things more. This changed my outward and inward self. So I don't know if I buy this idea of modeling your thoughts on an appearance. Even if you were trying to be the model of the Buddha, that's not necessarily going to make you happy.